Mark McGwire Admits Steroid Use, But Still Denies Kitten Eating

mcgwirekittenMark McGwire finally came clean on his steroid use after years of denial, including in front of congress. He even admitted using human growth hormone at times during his illustrious 16-year career in which he shattered the single-season home run record in 1998, although stipulated it was only to heal his injuries quicker and not to gain added power.

What the world still does not have an answer on is whether or not McGwire was involved in what is becoming an alarming new trend among professional athletes… kitten eating.

In recent weeks both Tiger Woods and Manny Pacquiao have both been accused of ingesting kittens prior to their sporting events, to give them added strength and hand-eye coordination. McGwire’s admission on the steroid use only led to more questions on his own involvement in feline doping.


His only statement on the issue so far is as follows:

“I have said all that needs to be said about my use of banned substances during my days as a Major League Baseball player. I will have no further comment meow or in the future regarding these issues.”

It has been speculated that McGwire was introduced to the practice by former teammate Jose Canseco when the two were known as “The Bash Brothers” in Oakland in the late 80’s and early 90’s. Sources have Canseco working on another book that will concentrate on underground kitten eating rings within Major League Baseball.

McGwire was just recently introduced as the St. Louis Cardinals hitting coach… the team in which he finished his career playing for. Cardinals Manager Tony LaRussa, who led McGwire in both Oakland and St. Louis, was reached for comment at his home, but only rambled on about aliens running the United Auto Workers Union before mentioning that Dennis Eckersley was his toaster.

The TMR Zoo will press this issue,just like the others mentioned earlier, even though no other media outlets are willing to admit that kitten eating is becoming a serious, and potentially deadly issue in professional, collegiate and organized youth sports.