Let’s Kick off 2011 with a Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan Sex Tape

This has to been the slowest week in celebrity scandals that I have seen in a long time. It is killing the traffic on this blog. We have no news of sextapes, there are no celebrities flipping out in hotel rooms with porn stars; we can’t even find traces of infidelity. It is like all of Hollywood is hibernating for the winter.

Not only are these people hibernating they are bundling up for the winter. I have not seen sight of a naked celebrity let alone even the slightest nip slip in weeks. If these celebrities are cold they should go on vacation like Megan Fox and Maria Menounos. Maria Menounos’ bikini malfunction or should we say, lip slip, at Miami Beach was wonderful for traffic. Come on Hollywood, let’s get some bikinis dropping.

[smartads]

What really shocks me is these people are not even dying! Jack Lalanne died this week but unfortunately none of his fans own computers. So the news of Jack’s death won’t do squat for traffic.

Making this even worse is that this is such a non-week for sports. We have the Super Bowl around the corner and March Madness after that. This week? It is a total wash for sports news or blogging.

Things are so slow that the leading story on TMZ is that Lindsay Lohan is worried about Charlie Sheen… WTF? Is Lindsey Lohan THAT desperate for attention? If so, what she needs to do is head over to Charlie’s Sheens place with a video camera, drop her laundry and make a sex tape.

Seeing that Lindsay Lohan likes to do a bit of carpet munching, maybe she could call Kim Kardashian to do a cameo. I don’t know if Kim has lesbian tendencies but she does have the sex tape experience. I also know Charlie Sheen would love to host the event. If Kim Kardashian does pass, don’t worry Lindsey, there are plenty of fish in the seas of Hollywood.

So in a week where we can’t find a nip slip, wardrobe malfunction or foot fetish video from an NFL coach I guess this site is back to basics. Expect a ton of beer and video game blogging. That is, until we get a warm spell and nipples start popping, celebrities start cheating and the video tapes get rolling.

I throw this out to the people of Hollywood… Somebody please do something. Do something huge. I would love to kick off 2011 with a Kim Kardashian, Lindsey Lohan Sex Tape. I beg you ladies, can you please make it happen?… at this point we need something.