Did Lindsay Lohan Get A Brazilian Wax To Prepare For Jail

It looks like Lindsay Lohan has violated her probation. These latest charges of theft are most likely going to send the Machete star back to the pokey (fitting name for LASD Century City Station) . Lindsay was scheduled to be back in court February 25 to see if she was forfilling the probation order tied to her DUI. Most people close to the situation feel the judge will not be pleased seeing Miss Lohan early.

Lindsay Lohan is now facing charges for Grand Theft . This is no joke. Seeing she is already on probation she could see some time for this. She could also have her probation revoked as early as tomorrow. Lindsay has already been warned that she’d go to jail for six months if she broke any laws and violated her probation again.

[smartads]

It looks like Lindsay has forced the judge’s hand and will be heading back to jail. This is not all bad for the troubled actress, Lindsay Lohan is a lesbian! Locking a lesbian in jail is like locking a fat kid in a pie shop. Lindsay will most likely have her choice of “bean flickers” in the LA County Lockup. I am sure the Lurds (Lesbian until Release Date) will be lining up just to get a peep of Lindsay Lohan naked in the shower. They will see a lot more in the showers than we did in her nude scenes in Robert Rodriguez’ flick Machete.

This being the twat bandit’s second trip to the lockup we are sure she knows what goes on in there. If Lindsay Lohan wants to continue her partying ways while incarcerated she will have to give up a bit of ass. That would be the easiest way for her to get any mood altering substances.

Knowing this… in preparation for LA County Jail we wonder did Lindsay Lohan get a Brazilian or will she go to prison with a full on winter bush? Thou a full on Brazilian would give the bulldykes at LASD Century City Station in Lynwood better access to Lohan’s skin chimney, 70’s bushes are making a comeback. I would imagine Lindsay was growing a full on bear trap for her role as Linda Lovelace. Something tells me the oyster divers of Century City Station will take it any way Lindsay Lohan wants to serve it up.

Lindsey Lohan could be serving up the beef curtains for the next 3 years if found guilty of these new charges. That is a long time to be face down in the fur gasping for air.