Have you ever received a Valentine’s gift that made you think twice, and not in a good way? You are in good company. Rotten Valentines gifts are commonplace and range from the clumsy but well-intentioned to the downright nasty. The makers of a burglar deterrent called FakeTV wondered what “Fake Valentines Gifts” their customers might have received, so they ran a contest on their Facebook page. These are the best (worst) responses:
10. Coupon Books for back-rubs or “whatever.” He says this is selfless service, she says “so, you could not think of anything to get me.” (For him, the right “whatever” might bump this off the list.)
9. Fake engagement ring. Cubic Zirconium might be a good way to hedge your bets, but gives her reason to doubt your love would really cut glass.
8. Vacuum Cleaner — that perennial favorite of non-romantic husbands.
7. Panini Maker — from the guy that loves paninis.
6. From Her: A pair of tickets to the Bridal Show.
5. From him: A pair of tickets to the Monster Truck Fest.
4. Abdomen Exerciser — sort of the opposite of chocolates, and telegraphs a message. Reduces the possibility of “whatever” happening on Valentine’s Day (see number 10).
3. Roses — with a card made out to a different woman. It turns out the other gal also got the wrong card as well.
2. Nothing. (Even the roses to the wrong woman was better.)
1. The top worst Fake Valentine’s Day gift was a heart-shaped box filled with dog biscuits. The lovely and attractive woman that submitted this story won the free FakeTV that was the contest prize. She has long since gotten over the rapscallion that perpetrated this travesty — good riddance! That jerk has since become as friendless as you would expect him to be.
The common thread from the women responding was that the intentions really are everything. So guys, do not let worries about missteps keep you from getting anything at all. And certainly do not take a holiday about love as a chance to send a message that you should probably keep to yourself. Well-intentioned beats thoughtless any day.
Hydreon Corporation makes FakeTV, and that product is notably absent from this list. FakeTV is a burglar deterrent that mimics the light from a television, making a home look occupied. This is a counterfeit in a good way — it fools would-be burglars. FakeTV offers peace of mind, and many are given as gifts for that reason. But even the makers of FakeTV ($35 at http://www.FakeTV.com) counsel their customers that they should include something more personal along with a gift of a FakeTV for Valentine’s Day. You do not want your gift to end up on the list for 2012.