We have received a press release from Summit Entertainment disclosing that the set of Twilight Breaking Dawn II has been shut down indefinitely. They currently do not know how long production will be halted. It seems that the set is being shutdown due to a rampant case of “Stupidity”. The stupidity was first spotted by 22 year old best boy grip Heywood Jablome.
During the filming of one of the film’s most dramatic scenes Heywood was heard shouting out “this is so fucking stupid.” Director Bill Condon said “after Heywood’s comment you could hear a pin drop on the set”. “That is when I realized how stupid this The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 really is” the Director noted. Condon then added “at that moment I noticed the stupidity was quickly spreading”.
Twilight Breaking Dawn II Producer Wyck Godfrey was called onto the set. Godfrey said that by the time he got to the set, there was nothing he could do to halt the stupidity. “The stupidity had spread everywhere, everyone was effected.” Hardest hit were the The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 stars Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner.
Dr. Hugh G. Rection from Harvard Medical School in Cambridge, MA. who has studied stupidity in cinema said it was no surprise the stars of the film were the hardest hit. Dr. Rection commented ” Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner have spent more time around this stupidity than anybody else in the production of this film”.
Dr. Rection met with the stars of the film and was saddened by what he saw. “These young actors are among the stupidest I have ever seen and there is no way to bring them back.” Dr. Rection further commented that when he looked into Kristen Stewart’s eyes her cold, emotionless stare truly saddened him. “There is nothing there, Kristen Stewart is the stupidest actress I have seen ever” commented the doctor has he fought back a tear.
The Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta is expected to shut down the set of the set permanently and ban the future sale of all Twilight books and DVDs. CDC spokesperson Kareem Pye said this is not about censorship this is about protecting the public. The CDC issued this statement. “We are aware of the rampant stupidity on the set of Twilight Breaking Dawn II. As we feared the stupidity had spread not only throughout the crew of the movie but now to the fans.”
Kareem Pye said the CDC found one 25 year old Twilight fan that became so stupid she could barely make coffee anymore at her Starbucks job. Pye went on to say “this is now a public safety issue. we cannot have hordes of stupid Twilight fans walking the streets of this country.”