Many readers contact me and ask “Cletus, how did you become such a ladies’ man?” I admit, I am not the best looking guy out there, I am not in the best of shape, but it is no surprise why I am a hit with the ladies. Picking up women is a science, not a numbers game as some guys think. If you have no game it does not matter how many women you run it on, it will fail every time.
Here are some fail-proof, tested methods to getting any woman to sleep with you. Any one of these methods may do the trick. If you run the table, you are definitely in.
1.) Touch her – I am not saying you should walk over and grab her boob. However, that may work in some parts of Mississippi. If she is standing at a bar or a coffee counter, brush up against her as you get your beverage. Make sure you make eye contact with her as you make body contact and flash a big smile. Once she is engaged, touch her arm as you talk to her. Take a closer look at a necklace or earrings. Contact is key.
2.) Make her laugh – Laughing is the closest physical action to an orgasm. The harder you make her laugh, the closer you are getting her to the bedroom. Laughter causes the activation of the prefrontal cortex, which produces endorphins. These are the same endorphins that an orgasm releases. If you can get her laughing chances are you will have her cumming.
3.) Tell her you like puppies – I am not saying you should actually say you like puppies. Try to find conversation topics that are non-controversial. Talk about her favorite ice cream flavors, foods or music. No matter what she claims to like, that is also YOUR favorite. If she likes rum raisin ice cream, you LOVE rum raisin ice cream.
4.) Handle all objections before you go for the close – What you are basically doing is taking her game away. Hit her with “its too bad this is a work night I would love to spend more time with you” or try “I don’t know if I should have another drink I have to get up early in the morning.” Not only are you taking away her objections, you are now forcing her to chase you and convince you to have another drink and stay out later.
5.) Limit her options – Used car salesman use what is called an alternative close, it is sleazy but it works. What you are doing is giving her two options, in reality you are giving her no options. Ask her “would you like to take a cab to my place or the subway?”, “Would you like to leave now, or should we have one more drink?” You are appearing to give her the control – If the first close does not work remember to Always Be Closing.
6.) Nice guys finish themselves- How many times have you seen a woman with a guy and said to yourself “what is she doing with that asshole?” You don’t want to be an asshole, try being distant, dark or detached it forces her to dig deeper. Women love a mystery, they love a bad boy. A nice guy might be Mr. Right, a bad boy will always be Mr. Right Now.
7.) Give her a moral out – No woman wants to be treated like a slut, not even a slut. Give her an alternative reason to go to your place. If you are taking her out for a late breakfast tell her you have to stop at your place to get your phone. You can also suggest you cook for her instead of paying for a sub-par late night snack. Trust me she wants to go to your place, she just doesn’t want to feel like a random pick up going there.
8.) Look for the wounded gazelle – The wounded gazelle is usually the drunkest girl at last call. She is staggering at the rear of the pack, the easiest to pick off. The wounded gazelle can also be someone with a cheating partner or was recently dumped. The wounded gazelle wants revenge, revenge sex is some of the best sex to be had. If she mentions she has recently been dumped or cheated on, go right for the close. Be careful not to be the empathetic ear she is looking for. Being empathetic will make you a friend not a lover.
9.) Signs, signs everywhere a sign – If the 3rd base coach is waving you home, head for the plate and slide. If she brings up the subject of sex, gives you compliments on your body parts or tilts her head as she intently listens to the bullshit pouring from your mouth… typically you are in. If she is watching your lips as the bullshit is pouring from your mouth, that is another good sign you are in. If she shares her drink with you it is sign she is more than comfortable sharing fluids with you. If you are getting signs go for the close.
10.) Listen and endorse – This is the most important thing to remember. Ask her about herself and let her do most of the talking. No matter what she says, it is the most fascinating thing you have ever heard in your life. If she wants to talk about lip gloss for 2 hours, deal with it. You should let her know how knowledgeable she is on the subject and comment on how great her lip-gloss looks.