The Low Down
I’m breaking my promise… again. A long time ago, I vowed never to write a bad club review. Why, do you ask? Well, not only because almost every club has SOME value for SOMEONE, but also because I try to portray a positive image of the gentlemen’s club industry that I’ve thoroughly appreciated over the years. I’m writing a “bad” review about Baby Platinum not because of a lot of negative qualities, but due to several key failures that make me wonder how this club stays in business. Key example: while showing ID is expected and £15 (that’s fifteen Pounds, for us foreigners) is about 50% higher than other local cover charges, I’ve never been FINGERPRINTED as a prerequisite to club entry, as I was here. I arrived at the club at around midnight on a Saturday evening during my recent visit to Manchester for Sexhibition, and rated the club on a scale of one to five stars, with five being the best possible score. Oh, and as this is an “international version” of my gentlemen’s club reviews, I’m using the British Pound symbol “£” for all prices, so be sure to check currency conversion rates before you go.
Location & Facilities – 5 Stars
Baby Platinum is located right in the heart of Manchester, within a few blocks of the Manchester Central Convention complex, Manchester Art Gallery and Alan Turing Memorial. The one thing that struck me about Baby Platinum was how it has one of the most opulent and gorgeous interiors of any club that I’ve ever seen, either in the United Kingdom or the United States. Upon arrival to this two-story club, the first thing you’ll notice is the Veuve Cliquet and Moet & Chandon bathtub decorations that are displayed as you walk up the main stairs. While there weren’t any visible poles, there was plenty of seating as the club was almost completely empty of customers… even at midnight on a Saturday evening.
Staff – 4 Stars
While I only directly interacted with my hostess, the Baby Platinum staff was both professional and courteous during my visit.
Food & Drink – 4 Stars
While Baby Platinum doesn’t serve food, the drink selections ranged from reasonable to opulent. I ordered my usual Malibu & pineapple for £11; although their extravagant bottle service options top out with a bottle of Bollinger Nebuchanezzer available for £3,000.
Dancers – 1 Star
Yes, ONE STAR. You’re reading that right. Now, I know what you’re thinking… “wow, these ladies must be really ugly to deserve a one-star rating.” Sadly, you’re mistaken. As the ladies of Baby Platinum were undeniably as gorgeous as some of the most upscale clubs that I’ve ever visited. The problem lies in that they are some of the worst hustlers I’ve ever encountered in my entire career… probably because the club was almost virtually empty on what’s the biggest party night of the week. First, as I was being escorted to my seat by the hostess, I literally had my forearm grabbed by two of the dancers standing around. Remember, the club was dead at that point, so there were quite a few dancers standing around killing time and hungry for any customers they could get. Second, when I was seated, I was quickly approached simultaneously by Seanitta and Jasmine, two attractive dancers who were sadly lacking in being able to converse in a manner as to hide their hustle. The worst part? After I inquired about private dances and they offered the VIP prices, I offered to get one couch dance and they turned me down, stating “We don’t do those…” Yes, I’m not joking: dead club with no customers on a weekend night and you’re turning down dances in order to upsell me the VIP dances?!?! Needless to say, I wasn’t impressed and quickly left the club.
Value – 3 Stars
While the £15 cover was extremely overpriced, the £10 topless couch dances and £20 fully nude couch dances were reasonably priced as was my £11 Malibu & pineapple. Baby Platinum clearly caters to a more upscale clientele with VIP room options starting at £400.
Website & Social Media – 2 Stars
http://BabyPlatinium.co.uk offers all off the information you’ll need to visit the club, including contact information, hours and address. While the gallery does have some very nice pictures of the club interior, and the dancers that work there, having two of your main pages be “staff wanted” and “dancers wanted” doesn’t imply that anybody wants to work there if you need to recruit so heavily. Also, there is a non-functional link to the club’s Facebook page.
In Brief…
Unless you’re absolutely loaded – and even then, you could probably find dancers with more personality at nearby competing clubs – DO NOT patronize this clubs. I failed to see its customer appeal, and I’d hate to see you waste £15 trying to find it yourself.
Baby Platinum (Manchester, UK)
109 Princess St, City Centre, Manchester M1 6JB, United Kingdom
Telephone: +44 845 618 7222
http://www.babyplatinum.co.uk/manchester
Hours: 9:00pm until late, Mon to Sun
C.J. Asher is a sex and adult entertainment blogger who has interviewed celebrities such as Dennis Hof, owner of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch, BurningAngel.com owner, director, writer and actress Joanna Angel as well as a sugar baby advisor, burlesque dancer, feminist and many others. His blog, CJAsher.com, also review gentlemen’s clubs nationwide and posts a weekly adult entertainment calendar highlighting adult film star appearances. Follow C.J. on Twitter @CJASHEROFFICIAL
