Too often on this site, we focus on the “women” in our view of sex and adult entertainment, whether it be adult film stars, exotic dancers or escorts. In keeping with our goal of gender equality here at CJAsher.com, I was thrilled to have the opportunity to speak with Anthony Asanti, a male escort, about his profession and the world of escorting from a gentlemen’s perspective.
C.J. Asher – First of all, Anthony, thank you for joining us to share your story. Tell us about yourself.
Anthony Asanti – My name is Anthony Asanti. I’m an independent straight male escort & companion for women. Working as an independent merely means that I have no agent or agency representing me. I reside and work primarily in the Washington, DC metro area which also includes Southern Maryland and Northern Virginia. However, I often travel to New York City to see clients and occasionally, Philadelphia and the West Coast. Providing companionship to women is my only source of income. I’ve been a companion since 2011.
Nomenclature – although not exactly the same – I use the terms straight male escort, gigolo, courtesan or companion for women, etc. synonymously. These terms are unimportant except that they encapsulate and communicate the notion that this guy is a heterosexual man providing companionship exclusively to women.
C.J. Asher – How did you start working in the escorting industry?
Anthony Asanti – I worked in corporate America and government for many years. It became boring to me so I decided to go to law school. During my studies, I met a female lawyer who was at the top of her profession but wasn’t having fun in her personal life. She hired me to bring some joy, pleasure and excitement to her life. I researched the business and hired a coach with many years of experience working as a gigolo. Things took off from there after he taught me the dos and don’ts of the profession, how to market myself, how to be safe, how to give women and couples amazing experiences, the required skills to cultivate and much more.
C.J. Asher – What laws and regulations affect the escorting industry?
Anthony Asanti – With the exception of parts of Nevada, solicitation and prostitution laws are in full force in all parts of the USA. Thus, in order to exercise due diligence to legally protect themselves and their clients most straight male escorts offer companionship to women and couples with an air of romance and sensual temptation. Offering companionship instead of sex directly is not against the law.
Now let’s get real. Whenever heterosexual men and women are together there is usually an air of sexuality or at least playful flirtation. If a woman yearns to indulge herself in the sensual pleasures of a male companion’s company most of us will be open to it. That spark of attraction may turn into a raging flame engulfing them into a passionate embrace.
C.J. Asher – How is male escorting similar and different from female escorting?
Anthony Asanti – First, there is some overlap in between straight male escorts catering exclusively to women and female escorting. There is also some overlap between independent straight male escorts and those working for an agency. What I describe pertains to independent straight male escorts. At a fundamental level all three types are about a person wanting to connect with another of the opposite sex. Here it’s also often done with an air of romance and sensual temptation.
However, the business of providing companionship to women exclusively is different because the clientele are women. Women have different sensibilities than men when it comes to romance, sensuality and sexuality. Most women crave the full romantic, emotional and mental connection along with physical intimacy. It’s true that some woman may only want to get down and dirty but most desperately desire the full experience. Many women have enormous appetites for it; sometimes even more so than a great roll in the hay. Most, but not every, patron will want physical intimacy. But every patron will definitely want her gigolo to make her feel special, comfortable, and safe while being attentive to her needs. He must be masculine, chivalrous, and a respectful, charismatic gentleman with King Kong sized balls enough to deliver on these and other things that she can’t or isn’t getting elsewhere. This often extends far beyond what happens inside of the bedroom; touching upon the type of experiences that she has always longed for with a man outside of the bedroom as well.
C.J. Asher – Similarly, what are the advantages and disadvantages of being independent versus belonging to an agency?
Anthony Asanti – One of the main advantages of being an independent straight male escort is that he is his own boss. He can conduct his escorting practice in the manner that is best for him. Another advantage is that he can connect with a patron as often as he or the client desires. This is often one of the main reasons that a woman may seek an independent male courtesan instead of an agency. And the last advantage but certainly not the least, is that the independent gets one hundred percent of the revenue from the appointment. In an agency, the agent retains a certain percentage.
There are also a number of disadvantages to being an independent straight male escort. An independent straight male escort must either create his own marketing copy – ads or website – and photoshoots or pay someone to do so. He must also:
- Perform all of the associated business functions such as paying for goods and services
- Respond to inquiries via phone, email, social media, etc.
- Get his own clients
- Screen clients
- Provide companionship to clients
- Stay sane, physically healthy and fit, looking good
- Pay for gym memberships, wardrobe, etc
- Gain new skills (massage, kink, seduction, business, martial arts, etc.) or maintain existing ones
All of these aspects of the business are important to being successful. At the very least, I’m sure that a companion working for agency is required to see patrons and stay healthy and fit.
C.J. Asher – Describe your typical “client” in terms of age, race, career, wealth, etc.
Anthony Asanti – Most of my clients are older professional women. Most are married or in relationships. Others are single, separated or divorced. They have lived full lives with the full range of life experiences many having careers, marriage and children. They’ve experience romantic love and hate, professional success and failure, happiness and sadness, joy and tragedy. Many have sacrificed for careers, marriage/relationship or their children. They’ve all come to the realization that they deserve maximum joy and that life is too short to settle for anything less. Their average age is forty two. The percentage of their racial makeup is about 60% of European decent and the remainder women of color. Their careers are all over the map. Some are executives, businesswomen, physicians, attorneys, celebrities, house wives and even adult entertainers.
C.J. Asher – How do you find new clients?
Anthony Asanti – I talk to women wherever I go. If a woman asks me what I do for a living, of course I’ll tell her. If she’s interested I’ll hand her my business card. Some find me through my website, social media posts and ads or through internet searches. Finally, other clients come through referrals, recommendations and endorsements from other clients.
C.J. Asher – What types of arrangements do your clients usually make?
Anthony Asanti – The financial arrangements that the client makes is based on the duration of our time together plus all expenses incurred during our time, such as dining, hotel, airfare in some cases, etc. I see some women on a regular basis while others only once or twice. New clients make all the arrangements for our first few rendezvous. Afterwards, I will usually make all of the arrangements for a regular client once we have flowed into a rhythm together and she has acquired enough trust in me to do so.
C.J. Asher – Would a legalized prostitution industry in your area help or harm your industry?
Anthony Asanti – It would probably help the industry but not that much. Here in the D.C. metropolitan area, people are very conscious of keeping up appearances in this highly politically charged area. Prostitution has a negative connotation to it in the minds of most people. Most women do not want to think of themselves as hiring a male prostitute. Most definitely do not publicly state that they indulge themselves in the pleasures of engaging male companionship. But, I have however, a couple of clients who openly do. While I personally see no problem with prostitution or sex for money between consenting adults there is still a stigma associated with it.
C.J. Asher – What has surprised you the most about this career and the industry?
Anthony Asanti – That so many women are open and forward thinking about the idea of being able to call upon a man whenever she wants or needs his company. When I first got started I was afraid to tell women what I did for a living. But soon afterwards I found out that most women loved the idea. Many are fascinated by a man who knows how to take control and lead a woman into an experience that she will treasure. The vast majority of women are intrigued about it. Whether or not they will ever engage a male companion is another question.
Another is that the many guys wanting or trying to become a male companion fail to research the business so they don’t know what skills they need or must cultivate. Then they make classic mistakes. Some women have told me that after seeing so many awful straight male escort ads they started to become turned-off with the idea of engaging one. I’m glad that they kept at it enough to find me but it shouldn’t be like this. There are a number of quality independent straight male companions.
C.J. Asher – What is the most prominent misconception about the escorting industry?
Anthony Asanti – There are a number of major misconceptions about providing companionship to women. One is that it is only about a woman paying a man for sex. Yes this happens but fundamentally it’s more about a woman wanting to connect with the masculine complement to her feminine energy in a fun, seductive, romantic and tender fashion. When that happens, more often than not, there will be intimacy between them. In six years of being a companion only two women have told me that they didn’t want that romance, seduction, tenderness, etc. but instead “just want to fuck.” Another misconception is that the only women hire straight male escorts are those who are unattractive, desperate or otherwise can’t get a man. Here is what I’ve experienced in my own straight male escort practice and reasons that I have personally been engaged:
- Some clients are knockout gorgeous
- Most clients have husbands, boyfriends, paramours, etc. and they get sex from their respective significant other
- Most boyfriends or husbands know about the male companion and often the one to pay
- Some women just desire variety in men, want it in a specifically prescribed manner or otherwise are unsatisfied
- Many have fantasies that go unfulfilled
- Some clients do not want or have time for a “normal relationship”
- Dance with her and other women at her party (see below)
- Teach her how to be more attractive to men
- Arm candy to attend an event with her
- Compliment & flirt with them or another woman to make them feel amazing
- Clients working in the adult entertainment industry wanting to know how it feels to receive a high caliber of attention, warmth and tenderness
- Have someone to talk to or have a sympathetic non-judgmental ear to listen
- They have not been touched in a long time
- They are lonely
- Husband or boyfriend can’t perform due to illness, injury or medication
- Husband hasn’t touched the wife in years
- Increase her self-esteem after a verbally abusive relationship
- The husband has mistresses
- Cook her favorite dish then sit down to a romantic dinner for two
There are many others reasons women hire straight male escorts. Life can be tough enough. We shouldn’t have to go through it without feeling attended to, cared for, satiated or alive.
C.J. Asher – What advice do you have for someone considering a career as an escort?
Anthony Asanti – I have three pieces of advice. First, genuinely change your thinking from getting something from women to giving them something that they can’t or aren’t getting elsewhere. I’m not referring to sex. Second, if you want to get into this business in order to make lots of money or get lots of sex from women then you will not be successful. Finally, you must really love and appreciate spending time with women.
C.J. Asher – How does the new trend of “sugar baby arrangements,” such as SeekingArrangement.com and ArrangementFinders.com, affect your industry?
Anthony Asanti – I would imagine that it could tangentially help the industry. A woman who wouldn’t normally engage a straight male escort may ease into seeing one.
C.J. Asher – How much does escorting cost the clients and how do you determine pricing?
Anthony Asanti – The cost for a quality male companion vary from companion to companion but the most competitive rates in the USA are somewhere between $250 to $400 per hour. Also, most straight male companions require a two hour minimum date. The average hourly rate tends to decrease as the duration of the engagement increases.
My hourly rate is $400. At first, I required at least two hours for each tryst but now it’s only a recommendation. The average hourly rate decreases for adventures lasting longer than two hours. The rate for my most recent offering, Bondassage®, is slightly less to entice those that may be price conscious. The rates were determined based on the business expenses previously mentioned, the caliber of companionship that I provide and my living expenses. As previously mentioned, this is my only source of income
C.J. Asher – I’m sure you have a few funny or exciting stories from your work in the escorting industry; which ones can you share?
A Client’s Search For A Male Courtesan
I met a woman at a social gathering. During the conversation she asked what I did for a living so I told her. I could see that she was intrigued so I gave her my business card. She didn’t contact me but kept the idea of a hiring a straight male escort in her mind. Fast forward three years later she forgot my name and lost my business card. However, she decided that engaging a straight male escort was the best choice for her. She did an internet search and found me. She sent me an email desiring to meet but needing to speak over the phone first which we did. During our first adventure, it dawned on her that we had met three years earlier. She has become one of my best clients.
The Not So Amused Woman
Earlier I mentioned that for most women their interest is piqued upon learning that I’m a companion for women. But one time I was at a bar I saw a woman so I struck up a conversation with her. During the conversation she asked what I did for living. I told her what I did. She became very offended. She asked “Is that why you came and spoke to me?” What type of woman would pay a man for that? I’m going to tell the manager…” as she walked away in a huff and a puff. I left before she returned with the manager. I’ve been there a few times since then without incident. I still chuckle whenever thinking about that.
The Dancing Queen
A woman hired me to dance at her retirement party with her and her friends. Some of her friends were married but most were either single or otherwise had boyfriends or husbands who would not dance with them. I didn’t know what she did for a living but I knew that the mayor had been invited. I found out after reading the program upon arrival. As it turns out she was the district attorney. Most of the women there were assistant district attorneys in her office. At first I was taken back. I didn’t know if I was being set up for a sting or if it was a legitimate party with dancing. Then I reminded myself that it’s not against the law for a woman to hire a man to dance. Alas, it went off without a hitch. We all had a great time.
C.J. Asher – What is the craziest, most exciting escorting arrangement you have ever been on, and did you enjoy it?
Anthony Asanti – I don’t get many wild requests. Most of my patrons are happy to leave it to me to determine what we will do. Sometimes a client will have a specific fantasy in mind. I don’t judge them. On the contrary, I try to support them in whatever is desired. However, sometimes I must help navigate the fantasy so that everyone feels safe and fulfilled. There are three requests that I can recall.
Interracial Porn Scene
I get a lot of requests from women who are curious about how it feels to be with a black man. On a few occasions the husband or boyfriend asked me to act out what amounts to an interracial porno scene where I would meet his wife or girlfriend and “pound her hard with your big black cock”. I just let them know that the pounding must occur towards the end after she has been thoroughly gratified. Perhaps some women may want to be pounded like a piece of meat from the starting gate but I can’t imagine many.
A guy once hired me to make his wife feel special, sexy and beautiful. They had just become empty nesters and she was feeling unneeded and undesired. In addition, her sex drive kicked into overdrive and the husband found it difficult to keep up with it. He asked that I charm and romance her to the point that she wanted me. I was required to do it without her knowing what I did for a living. We easily connected on so many levels. She was an amazing woman. We saw one another for six months.
The Sports Commentator
A new client called me up. She said that she and her husband would be in town and wanted to see me for a threesome. I always make it clear that I’m straight and there will be no intimacy between guys. No problem. In the middle of our adventure he stared calling out what we were doing as if he was a sports commentator. He was so good at it I would be surprised if he wasn’t a professional commentator. I had to quell it so that it wouldn’t penetrate the bubble of intimacy that was created for her.
To contact Anthony, please visit: http://www.anthonyasanti.com
C.J. Asher is a sex and adult entertainment blogger who has interviewed celebrities such as Dennis Hof, owner of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch, BurningAngel.com owner, director, writer and actress Joanna Angel as well as a sugar baby advisor, burlesque dancer, feminist and many others. His blog, CJAsher.com, also review gentlemen’s clubs nationwide and posts a weekly adult entertainment calendar highlighting adult film star appearances. Follow C.J. on Twitter @CJASHEROFFICIAL