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2009 NFL Total Jackass Team - Printable Version

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2009 NFL Total Jackass Team - Hooch - 03-16-2009

might as well start compiling the nominees already...

Stallworth expected to be charged

The season hasn't started and already we have a case of manslaughter.


2009 NFL Total Jackass Team - Prog - 03-16-2009

Cutler's in the lead for the All-Bitch team.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3983805


2009 NFL Total Jackass Team - Hooch - 03-16-2009

Prog Wrote:Cutler's in the lead for the All-Bitch team.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3983805

Someone need to be the head drama queen in Farve's absence.

There was actually some sports radio chatter about wanting to trade McNabb and a pick to Denver for Cutler. The main reasons being that McNabb is too big of a drama queen and can't win big games. Um, what?


2009 NFL Total Jackass Team - Securb - 03-19-2009

REPORT: STALLWORTH OVER THE LEGAL LIMIT

Posted by Mike Florio on March 19, 2009, 12:51 p.m. EDT
A television station in Miami reportedly is reporting that Brown receiver Donte’ Stallworth was “slightly” over the legal limit of 0.08 percent blood-alcohol concentration when his vehicle collided with Mario Reyes, a pedestrian who died as a result of the Saturday morning collision.
CBS4 in Miami reports that the report, which was made at noon by a local television station that CBS4 didn’t identify, could not be confirmed by Miami Beach police or by Stallworth’s lawyer.

If the report is accurate, Stallworth is in serious legal jeopardy. In Florida, DUI manslaughter carries a maximum sentence of 15 years.
In contrast, Leonard Little[Image: mag-glass_10x10.gif] served only 90 days a decade ago after killing Susan Gutweiler while Little drove drunk.

Regardless of the manner in which the potential criminal proceedings unfold, Stallworth also faces enormous civil liability. The fact that he earned a $4.875 million roster bonus the day before the incident could make $4.875 million the bottom-line demand for the eventual settlement discussions.

Then again, Stallworth might never get that $4.875 million from the Browns, depending on the language of his contract and the manner in which it would be interpreted by an arbitrator


2009 NFL Total Jackass Team - Prog - 03-19-2009

I don't like that word slightly in the report. You're drunk or not. The poor guy isn't slightly dead.


2009 NFL Total Jackass Team - Hooch - 03-22-2009

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news;_ylt=AtfagwUlb5Ic0v6C8OFUGgtDubYF?slug=ap-greenarrest&prov=ap&type=lgns

Quote:Oakland Raiders tackle Cornell Green has been arrested on a domestic violence charge in Florida.

Tampa police say Green became violent Saturday during an argument at his home there with the mother of his two children. Police say Green slammed 30-year-old Teriyonal Ebony Flowers into a wall, then struck her right arm with an aluminum mop handle.

The former player at Central Florida then fled the house. He was arrested at Tampa International Airport before a flight he had planned to take to Oakland, Calif.

The 32-year-old tackle was being held Sunday at the Hillsborough County jail on a charge of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.

Jail records did not show an attorney for Green. Message left at his agent’s office and cell phone were not immediately returned.



2009 NFL Total Jackass Team - Hooch - 04-09-2009

Some more nominees:

Bills RB Lynch suspended for 3 games by NFL
Quote:Bills running back Marshawn Lynch will miss the first three games of the regular season after being suspended without pay by the NFL for violating the league’s personal conduct policy.

The NFL announced the suspension Thursday, a month after Lynch pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor gun charge in Los Angeles. It was the player’s second run-in with the law, following a hit-and-run accident in Buffalo in May.


Nice first impression T.O.
Quote:Terrell Owens showed up for the Buffalo Bills voluntary workout sessions a few weeks late and wondering what all the fuss was about.



2009 NFL Total Jackass Team - Hooch - 04-14-2009

First stun gun incident of 2009:
[url="http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news;_ylt=Ajp3c3qzHQbNcI9_fb1Y_CFDubYF?slug=ap-bills-whitnerarrested&prov=ap&type=lgns"]
Charges filed against Bills’ Whitner[/url]
Quote:CLEVELAND (AP)—Buffalo Bills defensive back Donte Whitner was formally charged Monday with aggravated disorderly conduct and resisting arrest resulting from an altercation at a Cleveland nightclub early Saturday.

Police used a stun gun on the 23-year-old Whitner outside the House of Blues and then handcuffed him after he forced his way past them. Whitner was taken to jail and released later pending formal charges.

Cleveland police spokesman Thomas Stacho confirmed the charges on Monday and said Whitner is being sent a summons. He said a court date has been set for April 28 for Whitner’s initial appearance.

It was unclear why Whitner tried to leave the club and head for a melee outside, though he told officers, “My cousin’s out there, and they’ve got guns,” according to the police report, Stacho said.

Whitner said he regrets the incident.

“It’s not how I wish to conduct myself, and I apologize to all those involved,” he said in a statement released through agent Neil Cornrich. On Monday, Cornrich had no comment on the charges.

Whitner, who had played college football at Ohio State, was taken by the Bills with the eighth overall pick in the 2006 NFL draft.

He was part of a group celebrating the birthday of Ted Ginn Jr., wide receiver for the Miami Dolphins. Whitner and Ginn played football together at Cleveland’s Glenville High School and Ohio State.



2009 NFL Total Jackass Team - Hooch - 05-04-2009

more nominees:

Saints receiver Ealy, tight end Kapanui arrested

Quote:RIVER RIDGE, La. (AP)—New Orleans Saints wide receiver Biren Ealy and tight end Kolomona Kapanui were charged Sunday with obscenity, disturbing the peace and lewd conduct for allegedly being drunk, urinating in public and exposing themselves.

The Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office announced the arrests in a news release.

Two women, who weren’t identified, were riding in a vehicle when they reportedly saw Ealy and Kapanui urinating in the parking lot of an apartment complex around 12:42 a.m. Sunday, authorities said.

One of the women told Ealy to stop. Authorities said Ealy turned around while exposing himself and began making lewd comments. Moments later, Kapanui allegedly exposed himself to the driver of the vehicle and made lewd comments, the sheriff’s office said.

Both players were jailed on $4,250 bonds.

This is too easy


2009 NFL Total Jackass Team - Ransack - 05-05-2009

Man, there's a lot of Bills on this list and TO hasn't even came to camp yet.