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Moron of the week - TooFunny - 07-15-2008

The family that plays dead together....

LONDON - The wife of a British man who faked his own death played a crucial role in his attempt to fool officials, defraud insurance companies and even deceive their own children, a prosecutor said Monday.


Anne Darwin was a full partner in husband John's plot to stage his own death and collect on his insurance and pension, Andrew Robertson told Teesside Crown Court in northern England.


Anne Darwin has pleaded not guilty to 15 charges of deception and using criminal property.


John Darwin drew worldwide attention in December when he turned himself in to police in London and claimed to be suffering from amnesia - five years after he was thought to have drowned in front of his home in Seaton Carew, 420 kilometres north of London.


But his bizarre "back from the dead" story fell apart as reports came out alleging that the couple had been in contact - and had been trying to set up a new life in Panama. John Darwin admitted to deception and fraud, but his wife has maintained her innocence.


Before her arrest, she was quoted as saying she was pressured by her husband to keep his fakery a secret. Robertson said Anne knew the plan all along.


"The initial idea may well have been John Darwin's rather than Anne's but, in the (prosecution's) submission, it was a scheme in which Anne Darwin not only played an equal and vital role but it was a role which she played with superb aplomb," Robertson said.


"It was obviously going to require a considerable amount of guile, convincing pretence, persistence and guts on the part of Anne Darwin to see it through ... Her nerve did not fail her, and it is clear in our submission that at no stage in the ensuing 5 1/2 years before this fraud came to light did Anne Darwin's nerve ever fail her."


Robertson said she even managed to convince her own sons that their father had died.


Moron of the week - Speng - 07-22-2008

Men sentenced for setting friend's crotch ablaze

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/odd_crotch_fire;_ylt=Agmm5RiE_30NXbnKp.7XcHjtiBIF

Mon Jul 21, 8:30 PM ET

SAN LUIS OBISPO, Calif. - Two practical jokers are behind bars for setting their passed-out drinking buddy's crotch ablaze while boozing in Grover Beach. Matthew Craig Pillers and Jack Brent Nicholas Keiffer pleaded no contest to a felony great bodily injury charge.

Prosecutors say the 22-year-old Pillers, a parolee, was sentenced to two years in prison and the 19-year-old Keiffer got 45 days in San Luis Obispo County jail.

Elliot Tuleja was passed out when the men poured cologne on the man's groin and set him on fire on Jan. 18. Tuleja had second-degree burns on his testicles.


Moron of the week - Hooch - 07-22-2008

Speng Wrote:Tuleja had second-degree burns on his testicles.

Shit, what do you do for that? Sit around with your balls in a glass of water all day?


Moron of the week - 3dR3 - 07-22-2008

Speng Wrote:19-year-old Keiffer got 45 days in San Luis Obispo County jail.

watch your corn hole dude......


Moron of the week - Speng - 07-22-2008

Hooch Wrote:Shit, what do you do for that? Sit around with your balls in a glass of water all day?

I'd think you'd pray for the sweet release of death. :lol: I couldn't imagine the pain.


Moron of the week - Chef_Tony - 07-23-2008

Hooch Wrote:Shit, what do you do for that? Sit around with your balls in a glass of water all day?

That's some pretty thin, sensitive skin down there. I'm thinking the glass of water or a bathtub would be a pretty good idea. Get as much moisture back into that sack as possible.


Moron of the week - Securb - 07-23-2008

A Boone County woman accidentally stabbed herself in the foot with a 36-inch sword used in a Wiccan ceremony in a Lebanon cemetery, police said.

According to a Lebanon Police Department news release, Katherine Gunther, 36, was performing a Wiccan "ceremony of thanks" in Oak Hill Cemetery around 12:15 a.m. Saturday when she ran the blade through her left foot. She said in an interview Monday that she'd had a run of good luck recently and wanted to give thanks with the rite.

Gunther said she was aiming to put a sword in the ground when it accidentally hit her foot.

"It wasn't the first time I performed the ritual, but it was the first time I put a sword through my foot," she said.
Gunther immediately pulled the sword out of her foot, and her companions transported her to Witham Memorial Hospital.

Gunther said she suffered a compound fracture from the accident, but expected to be released from the hospital Tuesday. Witham spokesperson Tammy Rabe said Gunther is in stable condition.

According to police, no charges are expected to be filed in the case, although Gunther and her friends were warned against trespassing in the cemetery after established visiting hours.


Moron of the week - Chef_Tony - 07-23-2008

Must have been the burning of the ritual herbs that messed with her judgment.


Moron of the week - TooFunny - 07-23-2008

Dang, Wiccans get to use swords? That's it, I'm switching! :lol:


Moron of the week - TooFunny - 07-23-2008

Murder suspect who squeezed out of Texas jail nabbed in hotel pool

Wed Jul 23, 9:33 AM

By The Associated Press
HOUSTON - Police in Houston say a murder suspect who lost weight so he could escape from jail by squeezing through a vent has been caught taking a dip in a motel swimming pool.


Police say Darryl Layne Norris was back in custody Wednesday.


Authorities say Norris escaped early Saturday from the Waller County Jail in Hempstead, about 50 miles northwest of Houston. He escaped through an air conditioner vent that is less than one foot wide.


Waller County Sheriff Randy Smith said Norris usually weighs about 160 pounds but had been losing weight.


Norris is charged with murder in connection with a convenience store robbery.