Moron of the week

[Hooch]

There's some moron who's come to my house four times since Friday night. I refuse to answer the door on principal, he knocks right next to the "No Solicitors" sign.

He's some goofy looking, clipboard carrying bastard who walks back down my driveway and goes on to the next house.

If you lived in Florida you could probably legally shoot him.

[Securb]

There's some moron who's come to my house four times since Friday night. I refuse to answer the door on principal, he knocks right next to the "No Solicitors" sign.

He's some goofy looking, clipboard carrying bastard who walks back down my driveway and goes on to the next house.

Try living in NH during the months leading up to the Presidential primaries. Typically they show up on Saturdays when I am doing the lawn and I tell them I am the landscaper. It is funny the democratic pollsters automatically peg me for an Obama supporter because I am black.

[Speng]

He came back again this afternoon, he had the balls to walk to the back door and knock. If I see that fucker, he's getting an earful.

A few years ago I was grilling in the backyard when I hear someone knocking on the front door. I ignore it, I'm hanging out and it can't be anything important. I then hear a knock on the back door. I walk over and see some chick standing there. She starts in about lawn fertilizer and I ask her is she knows what "No Solicitors" means...totally blank look on her face. I tell her that I'm not interested, I don't like putting chemicals on the lawn, I have a dog, I was trying to be nice about it. She then starts in about organic fertilizer, I tell her I'm not interested. She then says my yard really needs some soil enrichment and some attention. The bitch had the nerve to not only ignore my sign, she tells me my yard looks like shit. I told her to fuck off.

I called the company and complained, assholes.

[Securb]

You should have told her you use organic fertilizer dropped your pants right there and shit on your lawn.

[Speng]

I saw a fretless Fender Jazz Bass on Craigslist, so I clicked on the link. It shows a regular Jazz Bass, with frets. I emailed the guy telling them that it has frets. His response? "They're metal inlays"...yeah, that's what frets are. Moron

[Securb]

They are metal inlays in a way but it is not fretless and the guy is a moron.

[Hooch]

Daughter's Facebook Brag Costs Her Family $80,000

Call it the biggest Facebook mistake ever. A daughter’s snarky status update has cost her father the $80,000 settlement he won during an age discrimination lawsuit.

According to the Miami Herald, Patrick Snay, 69, was the headmaster at Gulliver Preparatory School in Miami for several years, but in 2010, the school didn’t renew his contract. Snay sued his former employer for age discrimination and won a settlement of $80,000 in November 2011. The agreement contained a standard confidentiality clause, prohibiting Snay or the school from talking about the case.

However, Snay’s daughter, Dana, now at Boston College and a part-time Starbucks barista, couldn’t resist bragging about the case on Facebook. “Mama and Papa Snay won the case against Gulliver,” she wrote. “Gulliver is now officially paying for my vacation to Europe this summer. SUCK IT.”

[Speng]

Even without reading what she did, just going by that picture...what a stupid bitch.

Then after reading, yeah, confirmed stupid bitch.

[Speng]

Milwaukee man arrested for 5th DUI

Great Mugshot

[Hooch]

Dumbest 22 Year-Old Woman Ever Might Be Heading To Jail Thanks To A Facebook Brag

meet 22-year-old Colleen Cudney of Westland, Michigan, whose Facebook brag could actually land her ass in jail. Cudney received probation after a DUI conviction in 2012 which clearly states that she’s not allowed to consume any alcohol. When she was called in to take a random breathalyzer the morning after St. Patrick’s Day, she passed — but then brilliantly took to Facebook to brag about her achievement. I’m pretty certain that your brain doesn’t fully set until you hit twenty-five.

Investigators say she posted this: “Buzz killer for me, I had to breathalyze (sic) this morning and I drank yesterday but I passed thank god lol my dumba@@.”

A Westland police officer saw her post that morning and notified the probation office. When a probation officer called Cudney to return to the office for an urine test, she hung up the phone.

Probation officials say that was a violation of her probation. It was set to end in a few weeks. A urine test would have detected if Cudney had anything to drink in the 80 hours prior to taking it, probation officials said.