Moron of the week

[Speng]

I'm glad video cameras were huge back when I was doing all kinds of stupid, illegal stuff. I would have incriminated myself all the time.

[Securb]

Police in Ocala, Fla., are searching for a woman who used a stolen American Express credit card after a suspicious store clerk snapped a photo of her posing with it, reports the Smoking Gun. The shopper charged more than $400 worth of items from Lookin’ Good Beauty Supply, but she couldn’t produce any government-issued ID to prove she was the person listed on the card. The cheerful consumer agreed to the clerk’s request for a picture of her with her plastic, which also had been used to make purchases at Family Dollar and Citgo.

"I thought that would scare her into saying I don't want this anymore, but she smiled for it," the clerk tells WKMG. Police say they've gotten several tips since releasing the photo to the public, but haven't made an arrest yet. The card actually belongs to an elderly woman who says it was stolen while she was shopping at Walmart. In the photo, the alleged thief also appears to be holding the wallet that was stolen along with the credit card, reports the Ocala Star-Banner.

[Speng]

Some douche emails me about an item I'm selling on Craigslist, "If you cover shipping, I'll give you $20." He lives a few hours away. I check the price I have it listed at, it's $20. Why the Hell would I sell it for $20 and lose half the money in shipping costs?

I told him I'd gladly ship the item if he paid for shipping. His response...."no thanks".

Pound sand assbag.

[Securb]

MADISON, Wis. (AP) – Police say a California woman was cited after climbing into the giraffe exhibit at a Madison zoo and getting kicked in the face.

A police report says 24-year-old Amada Hall, of San Luis Obispo, California, climbed over one fence and almost got over the second fence encircling the giraffe enclosure at the Henry Vilas Zoo about 5:30 p.m. Saturday. A 2-year-old, 12-foot-tall giraffe named Wally gave Hall a lick, then turned and kicked her in the face.

Zoo staff told police that giraffe’s are capable of killing lions, so the woman was fortunate that her injuries were not life threatening.
Police ticketed Hall for harassment of zoo animals, which has a fine of $686.
The police report says she told officers she climbed into the exhibit because she loves giraffes.

[Securb]

A would-be prankster died after he slipped out of the front seat after he opened the van door after telling his fellow passengers 'watch this.'

Wayne Rowlands, 27, is believed to have fallen from the moving Ford Transit van, which was travelling at about 40mph, after slipping from the edge of his seat.

Seconds earlier the bricklayer and amateur footballer said to his friends 'watch this for a prank boys.'

An inquest into his death heard that Mr Rowlands, of Llanrhyddlad, Anglesey, suffered a severe brain injury after rolling into the road.

[GoldenVulture]

A Darwin award candidate.

[johnjohn]

Just be glad he didn't breed with giraffe girl first.

[CTN]

LOL where did he think he was gonna go?

his inner monologue must've been something like:
"Oh boy, the truck is moving pretty fast, perhaps I can step out of the front door and land on magical happiness cloud that I can ride like a skateboard! Whoopee!!"

[GoldenVulture]

A couple of years ago there was a teenage girl in town here who had an argument with her sister, in the car. She decided to get out while it was moving. It didn't kill her but she wasn't very well for quite some time.

[youngthrasher9]

A couple of years ago there was a teenage girl in town here who had an argument with her sister, in the car. She decided to get out while it was moving. It didn't kill her but she wasn't very well for quite some time.

Someone I knew did that, except she was arguing with her husband. She hit her head and died a couple days later.