Moron of the week

[3dR3]

one felony count of sexual penetration by foreign object by force according to an Orange County District Attorney's Office

[Securb]

Two Indonesian job seekers have been fooled into having their faces tattooed in order to receive non-existent government jobs.
The pair had their faces permanently inked after village chief Sawiyono told them he had received a text message from a government official offering them work as Jakarta intelligence officers.

The official, who said it was a job requirement to have their faces tattooed with dragons, was later discovered to be a hoaxer — but not before Nanang, 30, and Bambang, 40, had already undergone the painful and disfiguring procedure.

The three men believe the anonymous trickster was a kind of "mystic", as they didn't feel in control of their actions when following his strange instructions.

"I was half conscious when the shop owner tattooed my face, and didn't think it was a con," victim Bambang said.

"I just realized it was a con on Friday night. I was shocked and I cried."
A horrified Sawiyono realised he had been tricked when double-checking the bizarre request with a legitimate government representative.

"I am fully responsible for the mistake and I will do my best to help the men remove their tattoos,'' Sawiyono was quoted as saying.
"I don’t know why I believe that person.
"I feel half conscious when I follow the man's instructions."
Indonesian police say that the tattoo incident was the third hoax of its kind to have been pulled recently.

The men have filed a police report and are being treated in a local hospital

[Prog]

Obviously, they failed the first part of being an "intelligence" officer.

[3dR3]

The pair had their faces permanently inked after village chief Sawiyono told them he had received a text message from a government official offering them work as Jakarta intelligence officers.

you know... after that first line I might have been suspicious.

[Prog]

SIOUX CITY, Iowa — A Sioux City man is paying a hefty price for stealing two cases of beer from a gas station.

According to court documents, Evan Lyons, 29, has been sentenced to consecutive 15-year prison terms for first-degree theft and assault while participating in a felony. In both instances, Lyons was charged as a habitual offender.

According to court documents, on Aug. 19, Lyons robbed a Kum & Go in Sioux City and assaulted a store clerk while attempting to run off with two cases of stolen Budweiser beer.

Lyons has also been ordered to pay $37.72 restitution to Kum & Go. He had pleaded guilty to the charges as part of a plea agreement.

[Franchise]

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/d7ebefa28f

Looks staged but none the less pretty funny!

[Speng]

I thought Kum & Go was the name of a cheap motel chain.

[3dR3]

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/d7ebefa28f

Looks staged but none the less pretty funny!

if i were the groom i'd have done a cannonball in after... fuck it. my lady is wet.

[3dR3]

I thought Kum & Go was the name of a cheap motel chain.

i thought that was instructions for using the mens room. :confused:

[Prog]

A man fuming over his rejection from a TV game show was arrested after he showed up at a San Francisco law office wearing a device he said was a bomb, The San Francisco Chronicle reported Tuesday.

The suspect, who was not identified, walked into the offices of Lieff Cabraser Heimann & Bernstein Monday and told the receptionist he had a bomb, San Francisco Police Sgt. Neville Gittens said.

Witnesses told the Chronicle that the man was angry because he had not been selected to appear on the TV game show "The Price Is Right."

Police were trying to determine whether the device he wore, a white tube with a flashing light, was actually an explosive.

He was arrested after police cordoned off streets and evacuated the law firm's offices in a financial district high-rise.