Hi, my name is Ryan....

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We went for brunch at the Hasty Pudding Club at Harvard. My Jewish buddy ordered lox and bagels and the amount of salmon on the bagel was pitiful. Plus they charged him $15. He was bullshit. He said they should sew his foreskin back on and throw him out of the tribe for paying for it. Fast forward we are a buffet style brunch a few months later and they had salmon. He announce he was going to get his lox karma back and proceeded to eat more fish than your average Alaskan bear.