J - E - T - S ...Jets, Jets Jets!

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Jets owner Woody Johnson might want to sit down his daughter Casey and have a talk with her about picking her girlfriends. Point #1 for Woody to emphasize: Avoid women who might set your hair on fire.

Sadly, Casey has already learned the hard way about this one: According to Page 6, Casey and her girlfriend Courtenay Semel got into a raging fight recently that ended when Courtenay gave a demonstration of the combustibility of hair, using Casey’s. The crispy-scalped Ms. Johnson wound up in the hospital and has since been sporting a “short, butch” hairstyle - and she still hasn’t broken up with Courtenay, who admits to the fight but denies setting Casey’s coif ablaze. And you thought Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson were the nuttiest lesbian couple in the world.

On the bright side for Casey: At least her fight didn’t end with her whole house being burned down. Ask Andre Rison what that one feels like. Even so, I’d consider trying to get out of that relationship, preferably without any big confrontations. If ever there was an occasion for a good old-fashioned Twitter break-up, this would be it.