Skank of the week

[Securb]

BOISE, Idaho — Police arrested a woman in Idaho’s capital city after they say she impersonated a plastic surgeon and conducted breast exams on at least two women in local bars.

Kristina B. Ross was arrested Tuesday and jailed on accusations of unlicensed practice of medicine.

It all started earlier this month, when Boise police were called to a downtown medical office by employees of a licensed plastic surgeon.
Police say the office was getting calls from prospective patients who wanted to see a Dr. Berlyn Aussieahshowna. But no doctor by that name worked at the office.

Police got contact information for the women who had called, interviewed them — and then identified the 37-year-old Ross, who isn’t licensed to practice medicine.

A phone listing for a Kristina Ross in Boise was disconnected.
Detectives say they fear there may be others who had fake exams.

Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/offbeat/view.bg?articleid=1296911

[Securb]

A topless woman who was masturbating in a hotel parking lot is facing a weapons charge after Illinois cops investigating her auto eroticism discovered a loaded pistol in her vehicle.

A Naperville cop responding to an unrelated call spotted Vikki Myers, 44, in a van outside the Red Roof Inn. After initially claiming that she was changing clothes, Myers admitted to pleasuring herself in the vehicle, according to police.

That admission may have been prompted by a police officer’s discovery of what an officer described as “adult items that were used for self-pleasuring.”

In addition to copping to the vehicular masturbation, Myers told cops that that there was a loaded 9mm Sig Sauer handgun in the car, a weapon for which she did not have a state-issued Firearm Owners Identification card. Myers, pictured in the above mug shot, was charged with unlawful possession of a firearm.

It appears that Myers, who was staying at the hotel with her three children, had repaired to her 2002 Chrysler van for some alone time.

[Hooch]

so when someone tells you to go fuck yourself, you can't do it in your car?

[Securb]

so when someone tells you to go fuck yourself, you can't do it in your car?

This really puts a damper on your activities in the back of the Jeep at the Linc, doesn't it.

[Hooch]

This really puts a damper on your activities in the back of the Jeep at the Linc, doesn't it.

what's next? not being able to fuck yourself in the stadium bathroom?

[Speng]

Woman Busted For Bloody Tongue Assault

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/b...ue-assault

DECEMBER 7--What kind of a woman bites off her 79-year-old husband’s tongue and then poses for a mug shot flashing her pearly whites?

Meet Karen Lueders.

The 57-year-old Wisconsin woman was arrested Monday evening on a felony mayhem-domestic violence count after she allegedly bit off half of her husband Willard’s tongue while kissing him, according to investigators.

Willard Lueders was transported to a hospital about 50 miles from the couple’s Sheboygan home, so doctors could attempt to re-attach the tongue.

It is unclear why Karen, pictured in the above mug shot, bit off Willard’s tongue. Though Willard--in written responses to police questions--said that his wife was a in "manic state" when he was attacked, and had been "talking very fast and talking about spiritual things" over the past few days.

Willard said that he had gotten up at around 11:15 PM to go to the bathroom, where his wife was sitting on the toilet. “He advised that he kissed her while she was sitting on the toilet and that she had gone into a manic state, biting off his tongue,” according to a criminal complaint filed today. Willard added that his wife had also grabbed his penis.

Responding to a 911 call from Willard, police found Karen outside their home, where she was singing Christmas carols with a New Year's horn in her hand.

According to a page on the Faith Alliance Church web site, Karen Lueders is a “full-time Activity Director for the elderly” who shares “a music ministry named ‘His Harmony’” with her husband. Lueders, the church notes, “teaches good thoughts in Christ are mandatory for a life of love and service.”

In April, Lueders, who has two grown daughters and five grandchildren, spoke at a women’s church seminar entitled “Misfeeding Our Appetites.” Lueders lectured attendees on how to “Gain understanding into what you are really hungry for, ‘retrain your brain,’ and seek out what will really fill you up. Live the life God intends for you to live!”

[Securb]

“He advised that he kissed her while she was sitting on the toilet

First mistake

Willard added that his wife had also grabbed his penis.

He got off easy

[Speng]

Woman rips off daughter-in-law's nipple in drunken brawl

http://www.elpasotimes.com/ci_16865945?I...otimes.com

LAS CRUCES - A 44-year-old woman who allegedly ripped her daughter-in-law's nipple off during a drunken argument could be facing criminal charges, the 3rd Judicial District Attorney's Office confirmed Wednesday. Las Cruces police officers responded to Memorial Medical Center on Sunday morning, when doctors were already in the process of reattaching the nipple to the 30-year-old victim's breast.

It's believed to be the first time a local victim has suffered a body part being torn from them, said Chief Deputy District Attorney Amy Orlando. The victim told officers she, her husband, his mother and one of her husband's friends had spent Saturday night drinking at an apartment in the 1000 block of Idaho Avenue, according to the police report. Sometime after 3 a.m., the victim's husband had started arguing with his mother, and because it was becoming "very intense," the victim went to stand in between the two to separate them.

When the victim began arguing with her 44-year-old mother-in-law, the older woman allegedly "grabbed (the victim's) right breast and began to squeeze and pull on her nipple." The victim yelled to stop, but her mother-in-law allegedly continued to pull until the younger woman began punching her in the face, according to the police report.

The victim then told police she threw her mother-in-law into the yard, but the older woman allegedly kicked in the back door and had to be physically removed again.

It was when the victim was putting her mother-in-law's belongings in the yard that she felt fluid on her breast and realized there was blood on her shirt.

When she untucked her tank top, her nipple fell on the floor, she told police.

The victim put the nipple in a bag and, after several hours, decided she should go to the emergency room.

Police attempted to make contact with the mother-in-law - a convicted felon who spent two and a half years in prison for drug possession and being a habitual offender earlier in the decade - but were unable to immediately find her.

The victim later told police she did not want to press charges, but the 3rd Judicial District Attorney's Office could charge the mother-in-law with felony aggravated battery against a household member after the police investigation is over.

[Speng]

Woman seduced 13 Year Old over XBox Live

http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?sectio...id=7886116

LAKE FOREST, Calif. (KABC) -- A 36-year-old mother of three was arrested Friday on suspicion of having sex with a 13-year-old boy she met online.

Rachel Ann Hicks, of Lake Forest, is facing two counts of rape and one count of child molestation. She is being held without bail.

Orange County Sheriff's investigators say Hicks posed as a 23-year-old woman on XBox Live and started an e-mail and text relationship with the boy, who lives in Maryland. The relationship, which began in September, progressed to Hicks sending sexually explicit pictures and video of herself.

Over Thanksgiving weekend, she told her husband that she had to go to Florida. Detectives say instead, Hicks rented a car and drove to Maryland, where she had sex with the boy at his home while is parents were sleeping.

When the boy's parents confronted him about the messages on his phone, he told them what had happened.

With help from federal authorities, deputies tracked Hicks down and arrested her at her home Friday afternoon, according to Orange County sheriff's spokesman Jim Amormino.

Investigators suspect she may have molested at least one other boy, Amormino said.

[Securb]

Woman seduced 13 Year Old over XBox Live

I wonder how many Microsoft points it cost him