The "Holy Fucking Shit" Thread

[skarydrunkguy]

give it a few weeks and she'll be fat and rich. why can't I ever get lucky enough to be accidentally slightly injured in public... :(

[Speng]

Paralyzed man wakes up to find his dog eating his testicle

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national...-1.1413467

The 39-year-old, who has no feeling from the waist down, was rushed to hospital after he found his pet pooch snacking on something chewy.

The Trumann, Ark., man was rushed to the hospital, and the dog was taken to the vet where it was put down.

The 39-year-old, who has no feeling from the waist down and sleeps in the nude, opened his eyes on Monday morning to see his fluffy pet pooch between his legs.

With blood on its muzzle and front paws, he noticed the pup was chowing down on something chewy.

Moments later, and to his horror, he realized the dog was in fact eating his gonad.

He called paramedics to his Trumann home and he was rushed him to hospital, where he is now recovering.

KAIT8 reports the dog was a stray that he had taken in just three weeks earlier.

Cops took the dog to a local vet, who put down. The dog's head was sent to the Arkansas Department of Health to be tested for rabies.

[Ransack]

WTF, the dog has a little snack and gets put down?

[Speng]

Nice to see you again Ransack

[Ransack]

You can see me! Damn X-box kinect.

[Securb]

give it a few weeks and she'll be fat and rich. why can't I ever get lucky enough to be accidentally slightly injured in public... :(

You can swing by the TMR Offices and slip & fall in monkey shit but that will only get you a DVD and a Jagermeister shirt.

[Speng]

Pilots on Justin Bieber’s Plane Had to Wear Gas Masks Because of Pot Smoke

http://entertainment.time.com/2014/02/05...z2sVTswWcz

Justin Bieber and his entourage filled their private plane with so much marijuana smoke during a flight last week that the pilots had to don gas masks, according to a police report obtained by NBC News.

[Securb]

Though perhaps you have the distinction of having frequented 46 McDonald’s restaurants in your lifetime, one brave soul decided he’d add 46 locations to his list in one day. The plan? To hit all of London’s McDonald’s locations in 24 hours — and chronicle his journey for YouTube, of course.

Sure, you might be thinking, I could eat some French fries at multiple fast food locations in one day and survive just fine, if not end up little bloated. But this guy didn’t make it that easy on himself.....

......“I’ve learned about parts of London I didn’t know, foods I didn’t know, and areas of my body I didn’t know could feel pain,” he says. Sounds about right.

[GoldenVulture]

And then he :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl: :earl:

[lreese]

Meh... If he visits 46 different Taco Bells in a day, I might be a little impressed.