You're f'ing kidding me right?

[3dR3]

An obese mother in the US is trying to put on weight in order to become the world's fattest woman.

Donna Simpson, from New Jersey, weighs 273kg but told the Daily Mail newspaper she had her heart set on reaching her goal weight of 1000lb (450kg) in two years.

The 42-year-old already holds the title of the world's fattest mother after giving birth to her daughter in 2007 when she weighed 241kg.
"I'd love to be 1000lb ... it might be hard though, running after my daughter keeps my weight down," Ms Simpson told the Daily Mail.
Ms Simpson, who needs a mobility scooter to go shopping, eats huge amounts of junk food each week and tries to move as little as possible so she doesn't burn off as many calories.

"I do love cakes and sweet things, doughnuts are my favourite," she said.
Ms Simpson said she also loved eating sushi and would often eat 70 big pieces in one go.

Her 49-year-old partner Philippe — who she met on a dating site for plus-size people — was encouraging her to reach her goal, she said.
"I think he'd like it if I was bigger ... he's a real belly man and completely supports me," she said.

To put on enough weight, Ms Simpson will need to eat 12,000 calories a day, which is six times the recommended daily intake for women.
In order to pay for the enormous amounts of food she is eating — her weekly grocery bill is $815 — Ms Simpson makes money by running a website where men pay to watch her consume fast food.

here's a picture of a woman with goals

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Just looking at this picture makes my ass hurt

[3dR3]

is one of them boy George?

if not, what the fuck?

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A HONG Kong man, taken to the hospital to have a cucumber removed from his bottom, told doctors he inserted it in a suicide attempt.

The Sun reported Chin Wei, 62, said the method was a variation of the Japanese ritual suicide hara-kiri - usually carried out with a sword plunged into one's own stomach.

He was found in a pool of blood by his daughter before being rushed to receive medical health.

Medics said a severe tear to the man's anus was not life-threatening.

[3dR3]

A HONG Kong man, taken to the hospital to have a cucumber removed from his bottom, told doctors he inserted it in a suicide attempt.

The Sun reported Chin Wei, 62, said the method was a variation of the Japanese ritual suicide hara-kiri - usually carried out with a sword plunged into one's own stomach.

He was found in a pool of blood by his daughter before being rushed to receive medical health.

Medics said a severe tear to the man's anus was not life-threatening.

EPIC FAIL

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EPIC FAIL

Now that is what I call salad tossing

[3dR3]

Now that is what I call salad tossing

that's the last time I order the Asian Salad....

[3dR3]

http://www.break.com/index/kid-smashes-i...l-bat.html

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Take it from Darwin Aaron and his family in Cleburne County: gar eggs are poisonous. Tiffany Aaron said her husband, Darwin, and brother-in-law, Russell Aaron, took a long-nosed gar while spearfishing at Greers Ferry Lake on April 5.

Gar meat is edible, so they figured they'd try the roe.
They prepared the eggs that evening, with Darwin and Russell Aaron eating some, along with Darwin and Tiffany's 10-year-old son, Carson.
Carson was the first to start vomiting at about 1:30 a.m. Russell and Darwin soon were sick, too.

Tiffany Aaron looked online and read that gar eggs are poisonous.
All three family members recovered after a few days.
The Arkansas Game and Fish Commission said eggs from all gar species are highly toxic.

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MAY 14--An 87-year-old Florida woman was arrested yesterday for allegedly selling crack cocaine to undercover cops. Ola Mae Agee, pictured in the mug shot below, was collared after a month-long investigation by the Escambia County Sheriff's Office targeted drug dealing in her Pensacola neighborhood.

During the police operation, Agee sold $20 worth of crack to an undercover cop inside her Martin Luther King Drive home. The April 30 transaction was secretly videotaped by investigators, according to a sheriff's report, which listed Agee as a "retired janitor."

Police executed a search warrant at Agee's home yesterday, and charged the senior citizen with selling cocaine. She was later released from jail on her own recognizance due to her age. Remarkably, Agee is not the oldest person arrested for peddling crack.