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You're f'ing kidding me right?
I thought the Zoo office did some fucked up shit....... and then:

Ted Williams' frozen head for batting practice at cryogenics lab: book

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national...l_imm.html

Workers at an Arizona cryonics facility mutilated the frozen head of baseball legend Ted Williams - even using it for a bizarre batting practice, a new tell-all book claims.

In "Frozen," Larry Johnson, a former exec at the Alcor Life Extension Foundation in Scottsdale, Ariz., graphically describes how The Splendid Splinter" was beheaded, his head frozen and repeatedly abused.

The book, out Tuesday from Vanguard Press, tells how Williams' corpse became "Alcorian A-1949" at the facility, where bodies are kept suspended in liquid nitrogen in case future generations learn how to revive them.

Johnson writes that in July 2002, shortly after the Red Sox slugger died at age 83, technicians with no medical certification gleefully photographed and used crude equipment to decapitate the majors' last .400 hitter.

Williams' severed head was then frozen, and even used for batting practice by a technician trying to dislodge it from a tuna fish can.

The chief operating officer of Alcor for eight months before becoming a whistleblower in 2003, Johnson wrote his book while in hiding, fearful for his life.

He told the Daily News then he had received death threats and was moving from safehouse to safehouse. Johnson plans to come out of the shadows Tuesday, with his book and an appearance on ABC's "Nightline."

Johnson said he wired himself with an audio recorder for his last three months at Alcor, stole internal records and took gruesome photographs that are reproduced in the book.

The book describes other atrocities at Alcor's facility in Arizona, including the dismembering of live dogs that were injected with chemicals in experiments, and a situation in which human blood and toxic chemicals were dumped into a parking lot sewer drain.

It also also details suspicious circumstances involving the bodies of two people who are frozen in steel cylinders at Alcor: gay rights activist John Dentinger and Dora Kent, an elderly woman whose son, Saul Dent, gave Alcor lots of money.

Nothing in the book is as gruesome as Johnson's descriptions of what happened to Williams' body after it was sent to Alcor at the direction of the Williams' son John Henry Williams, who died of leukemia in 2004.

In 2003, The News reported that Buzz Hamon, the ballplayer's close friend and former director of the Ted Williams Museum in Hernando, Fla., sneaked into Alcor with the help of a mortician friend.

Hamon said he was "appalled" by the conditions there, where Williams' body and more than 50 others were stored in steel tanks alongside cardboard boxes and junk. Hamon died in 2004, reportedly committing suicide.

Johnson writes that holes were drilled in Williams' severed head for the insertion of microphones, then frozen in liquid nitrogen while Alcor employees recorded the sounds of Williams' brain cracking 16 times as temperatures dropped to -321 degrees Fahrenheit.

Johnson writes that the head was balanced on an empty can of Bumble Bee tuna to keep it from sticking to the bottom of its case.

Johnson describes watching as another Alcor employee removed Williams' head from the freezer with a stick, and tried to dislodge the tuna can by swinging at it with a monkey wrench.

The technician, no .406 hitter like the baseball legend, missed the can with several swings of the wrench and smacked Williams' head directly, spraying "tiny pieces of frozen head" around the room.

Johnson accuses the company of joking morbidly about mailing Williams' thawing remains back to his family if his son didn't pay his outstanding debt to the company.

Reprints of invoices show that Alcor president John Lemler charged $120,000 for the honor of "suspending" Teddy Ballgame's body.

A former paramedic, Johnson first blew the whistle on Alcor in a 2003 Sports Illustrated article about Williams' stored body.

He drew criticism at the time for an aborted attempt to sell photos online purportedly showing Williams' corpse.

Johnson said he hopes his book will help fulfill the wishes Williams expressed in his will - that his body be cremated and the ashes "sprinkled at sea off the coast of Florida, where the water is very deep."

nvinton@nydailynews.com

With Bill Madden

[Image: alg_alcor.jpg]

[Image: amd_ted_williams_1941.jpg]

[Image: amd_book_frozen.jpg]
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3dR3 Wrote:I thought the Zoo office did some fucked up shit....... and then:

Are you kidding if we had Ted Williams head in the TMR office there would already be pictures on the internet of Atilla face banging Ted
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yeah right..... like we could get Hooch to spring for cryogenics..... pfft

i'm just trying to win a jager cooler, look how that's going
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A British dwarf who was performing at the 'Edinburgh Festival' found his penis glued to a vacuum cleaner while preparing for a live show.


Daniel Blackner, known as "Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf" performed at the Circus of Horrors, known for its oddball and offbeat performances. As part of the show, the dwarf pulls a Henry vacuum cleaner using a special attachment, across the show attached to his penis. However, the vacuum cleaner was broken before a performance and performer Blackner placed extra-strong glue on the attachment to fix it, neglecting to wait the entire 20 minutes required for the glue to dry, which resulted in his penis becoming glued to the vacuum cleaner.

After being rushed to the A&E department of Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, Blackner was freed after an hour and remarked that: "It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E with a vacuum attached to me. I just wished the ground could swallow me up. Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short lived."

Hospital sources confirmed that they treated the performer, but a spokesman for the Royal Infirmary said he could not comment on individual cases.
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Securb Wrote:A British dwarf who was performing at the 'Edinburgh Festival' found his penis glued to a vacuum cleaner while preparing for a live show.


Daniel Blackner, known as "Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf" performed at the Circus of Horrors, known for its oddball and offbeat performances. As part of the show, the dwarf pulls a Henry vacuum cleaner using a special attachment, across the show attached to his penis. However, the vacuum cleaner was broken before a performance and performer Blackner placed extra-strong glue on the attachment to fix it, neglecting to wait the entire 20 minutes required for the glue to dry, which resulted in his penis becoming glued to the vacuum cleaner.

After being rushed to the A&E department of Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, Blackner was freed after an hour and remarked that: "It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E with a vacuum attached to me. I just wished the ground could swallow me up. Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short lived."

Hospital sources confirmed that they treated the performer, but a spokesman for the Royal Infirmary said he could not comment on individual cases.

ba dum dum

thank you,

goodnight!
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From The London Times:

A Well-Planned Retirement

Outside England 's Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were £1 for cars ($1..40), £5 for busses (about $7).

Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn't show up; so the Zoo Management called the City Council and asked it to send them another parking agent.

The Council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the Zoo's own responsibility.

The Zoo advised the Council that the attendant was a City employee.

The City Council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the City payroll.

Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain (or some such scenario), is a man who'd apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own; and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about $560 per day (tax free) -- for 25 years.

Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over $7 million dollars!

......

And no one even knows his name!
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great "why didn't i think of that" story
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Thugs attack two transvestites... who turn out to be cage fighters wearing fancy dress

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...hters.html

Two thugs who attacked what they thought were a pair of transvestites picked on the wrong men - when their intended victims turned out to be cage fighters on a night out in fancy dress.

Dean Gardener, 19, and Jason Fender, 22, singled out the two men walking along a street in wigs, short skirts and high heels.

Bare-chested Gardener was caught on CCTV confronting one of the men in a pink wig, black skirt and boob tube - then seen swinging a punch, a court heard.

But the other cage fighter, wearing a sparkling black dress and matching long wig, sprang to his friend's help, delivering two lightning-quick punches to the two stunned yobs.

The cage fighters were then seen teetering away in their high heels, stopping only to pick up a clutch bag they dropped during the melee.

Gardener and Fender were left dazed and seen staggering to their feet after their failed attack.

CCTV cameras followed the pair as they weaved along The Kingsway in Swansea, South Wales, before being arrested by police.

Mark Davies, defending, said: 'You know it cannot have been a good night when you get into a fight with two cross-dressing men.

'Unfortunately they were extremely drunk.

'They had been out drinking jugs of cocktails and Fender had drunk at least 10 pints of cider.'

Police later discovered the two drag queens were cage fighters on a fancy dress stag night out with other friends.

Both Gardener and Fender, from Bonymaen, Swansea, pleaded guilty to using abusive words and behaviour.

CCTV footage of the attacks was shown at Swansea Magistrates' Court. It shows them fighting with several men before the approach the two cage fighters.

The pair were sentenced to a four-month community order, were electronically tagged and placed under a curfew between 7pm to 7am.

There is a video at the end that I just cannot get to play...
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Summit Spring Water Co. will soon launch its "Raw Water," bottled unfiltered spring water directly from its source, at the organic and natural food store Portland Whole Foods, President Bryan Pullen said Friday.

"The raw water will be exactly that, gravity fed into the bottle moments after leaving the ground without any filtration, pumping, treatment, etc. Nothing, nada, not so much as a paper towel," he said.

Pullen said Summit Spring Water is one of a select few bottled waters to carry the state of Maine Premium Grade designation, meeting the very stringent quality and testing guidelines developed by the Maine Department of Health and Human Services.

DHHS Division of Water Quality Director Roger Crouse said his department has reviewed the so-called "raw water" and it meets all the requirements for bottled water distribution.

http://www.sunjournal.com/node/341042/
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what happens when I move in upstream?
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