Moron of the week

[Prog]

TAMPA, Fla. — In the comics, Batman usually manages to stay a few steps ahead of disapproving police officers, but Tampa's own Caped Crusader wasn't so lucky.

Far from Gotham's crime-infested alleys, 21-year-old Walsh Ian Nichols frequently patrols the nightclubs of Ybor City dressed as the Dark Knight. But Tampa police arrested Nichols Friday for violating a state law that forbids wearing a mask on a public right of way.

A police spokeswoman acknowledged that the law is rarely enforced but said Nichols had been warned several weeks earlier about wearing the mask.

Nichols was released a few hours after his arrest on $500 bail. Undeterred by police keeping his mask as evidence, Nichols told the St. Petersburg Times that he has a spare.

[TooFunny]

TAMPA, Fla. — Nichols had been warned several weeks earlier about wearing the mask.

Undeterred by police keeping his mask as evidence, Nichols told the St. Petersburg Times that he has a spare.

I wonder where he parks the Batmobile?

[TooFunny]

Britons sentenced to jail in Dubai for beach sex

DUBAI (AFP) - A Dubai court sentenced two Britons to three months in prison on Thursday and ordered their subsequent deportation for having sex on a beach in the booming Muslim Gulf emirate.

Michelle Palmer, 37, and Vince Acors, 34, were found guilty of having sex in a public place in the early hours of July 5 after drinking heavily.

The defence said it would appeal, although the relatively moderate ruling showed that they only committed an indecent act in public and did not actually have sex. But the prosecution said there was evidence they did have sexual intercourse and that it might appeal the "light" sentence.

Under the laws of the United Arab Emirates, of which Dubai is part, the maximum sentence for sex outside of marriage is one year imprisonment and the minimum is three months, the official said. The same applies for committing an indecent act in public.

Both Palmer, a publishing executive who has been sacked from her job following the case, and Acors, who was on holiday in Dubai, have been barred from leaving the UAE.

[3dR3]

I wonder where he parks the Batmobile?

he keeps his big wheel in the alley....

[Securb]

Indiana kook busted for lewd act that involved tool, motor oil

AUGUST 6--While on patrol Monday evening, an Indiana cop noticed a naked guy standing in the window of a Fort Wayne home.

So she approached the man's front door, which was wide open, to investigate further. It was then that Officer S. Hughes and a colleague were treated to the sight of a prone Ronald Miller, 56, engaging in a remarkably lewd act on his living room sofa.

For the dirty details, you'll have to read the below Fort Wayne Police Department report, which notes that Miller is apparently handy with a claw hammer and some motor oil.

Miller, pictured in the mug shot at right, was arrested on a felony indecency charge. A neighbor told cops that Miller was "not right" and parades around naked "24/24."




Link goes to story that explains he was in the window jacking off with motor oil while jamming a claw hammer in his ass

Naked Man Arrested At A Vanderburgh County Park
Dated: 10/16/2008 09:26:34 Updated: 10/16/2008 20:02:20

story by: Jennifer Cahill
VANDERBURGH COUNTY - When Vanderburgh County Sheriff's deputies got a call about a man masturbating in a county park, neither they nor the caller knew what they were about to find.
"We didn't know what he was doing, but we knew it's not right to have your pants down in a park," says witness Jeff Niemeier.
On scene, deputies found 55-year old Larry Williamson sitting on a picnic table naked, masturbating, with a metal rod protruding from his penis.

"Fortunately there weren't any kids or families present. He has since told us he'd gone there in the past to gratify himself," Vanderburgh County Sheriff Eric Williams says.

"We saw him two or three times this past week," Niemeier says. "Just sitting at picnic tables watching children."

The picnic table where deputies found Williamson naked was only feet away from the playground. Deputies say he's been arrested twice before for public indecency and nudity and he's banned from all city parks.

A search of Williamson's car showed deputies the metal rod was just one of many props he'd taken to the park with him.

"He had a lot of unusual things in his car that we thought were suspicious in nature," Williams says.

Among those: binoculars, sex toys, male enhancement drugs, lotions, a small dog, candy and bags of cotton candy-things often used to lure children.

"We're not saying that's what was going on, but it sure does send up some red flags for us," says Williams

Although Williamson is in jail Thursday night, there is a chance he could bond out.

Williams is hoping that in the future, Williamson will be banned not just from city parks, but all parks in the county.

NEWS 25 checked out the sex offender registry and found that Larry Williamson is not on it.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
VAND. CO., IN - The Vanderburgh County Sheriff's Office tells NEWS 25 they arrested a man exposing himself in a park Wednesday afternoon.

Deputies say they caught Larry Wayne Williamson, 55, sitting at a picnic table in Scott Township Park completely nude around 4:30 PM. Sheriff Eric Williams says they searched Williamson's truck and found marijuana, drug paraphernalia and other "suspicious & unusual items".

The Sheriff's Office reports witnesses told them they have seen Williamson in the park in the past. Williamson later told detectives that he had been to the park several previous times for sexual gratification.

Sheriff Williams tells NEWS 25, Williamson had been arrested & convicted twice before for public indecency, and had a court order to stay away from any public park in Evansville & Vanderburgh County.

The Sheriff says getting Williamson off the street is important for the safety of the community.

"Listening to the account of this arrest and the subsequent interview by investigators made me sick," Sheriff Williams says.

"Williamson is obviously a very twisted person and should not be anywhere our children might be."

The Sheriff's Office says Williamson faces several charges including public indecency/nudity, possession of marijuana and trespassing.

[Prog]

Just when I think I'm a fuck up, I read shit like this and realize I'm not that bad.

[Speng]

Yeah, those people make me feel alot better about myself. I have never shoved anything up my penis, including a metal rod or a small dog.

[Speng]

Police Arrest Man for Vacuum Sex

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081018/ap_o...6wYwztiBIF

THOMAS TOWNSHIP, Mich. – Police say a Michigan man has been arrested after "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a car wash.

The Saginaw News reports the 29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was arrested Thursday in Saginaw County's Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.

Police Sgt. Gary Breidinger says a resident called to report suspicious activity at the car wash about 6:45 a.m. An officer approached on foot and caught the man in the act.

The suspect, whose name wasn't immediately released, is being held in the Saginaw County Jail.

[3dR3]

wasn't mongo driving cross country?

[TooFunny]

...small dogs, that is. Among other things.

In an attempt to upgrade the tone of this thread, I hereby submit this story of a noble Canadian farmer fighting for his rights:

Law-breaking Canadian farmer insists on maximum penalty

NEWMARKET, Ont. - An organic dairy farmer from Ontario, Canada found guilty of contempt of court for refusing to stop selling raw milk is asking for the maximum sentence.

Michael Schmidt has run a co-operative organic dairy farm near Owen Sound, Ont., for more than 20 years. York Region, north of Toronto, had accused Schmidt of selling or distributing the product, even after a court order not to do so.

The Crown said it is not seeking jail time, but Schmidt told the judge in Newmarket, Ont., to impose "the highest penalty you can find." However, York Region lawyer Dan Kuzmyk said he was reluctant to let Schmidt become a martyr and "throw himself on the sword of York Region."

The judge said the case had nothing to do with whether or not people had the right to consume raw milk - it was all about whether Schmidt defied a court order to stop selling it.

Selling raw, or unpasteurized, milk is illegal in Canada because health officials say it carries the risks of spreading salmonella, E. coli and Listeria monocytogenes. Raw milk advocates say they drink it for its flavour, organic properties and health benefits.

Following the verdict, Schmidt and about a dozen supporters gathered outside the courthouse to drink milk. It was not clear if the milk was pasteurized.