Moron of the week

[Securb]

Why does this sentence make me laugh so much?

I was thinking the same thing. I could see the sniper saying "no soup for you" right before he pulled the trigger

[Speng]

WTF, "Let the girl go and you can have this nice bowl of lentil soup and oyster crackers"

I can't think of any situation where I'd be tempted by a bowl of soup.

[Speng]

Foot massager strangles three

http://search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-b...0081217a4.html

Kyodo News

Three people have been strangled attempting to use a foot massage machine as a neck massager, the maker of the machine said Tuesday.

Saitama-based Matoba Electric Manufacturing Co. said the three died when their clothing got caught in the rollers. The victims had removed the cloth cover from the Arubi Shape-up Roller before applying the machine to their necks.

Similar accidents could occur while using another massage machine, the Shape-up Roller II, the company warned.

The firm urged users not to use the machines with the cover off.

[Securb]

CHICAGO (AP) - The sheriff's office in Chicago has arrested more than 60 fugitives with a net of holiday cheer. Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart said Sunday that the suspects were invited to take a retailers' survey for holiday shoppers at a hotel earlier this month.
Participants who brought along a scratch-off card that was included with the survey were promised at least $500.
Those who showed up were taken into custody. One man who arrived with marijuana in his pocket was charged with possession on top of his previous charges. The fugitives had warrants for crimes including forgery and aggravated battery.

[Prog]

I'm amazed these things still work. They should have held it at the United Center and sold tickets. I'd pay to watch.

[Securb]

I'm amazed these things still work. They should have held it at the United Center and sold tickets. I'd pay to watch.

That would be great introduce the criminals like the Pistons with the lights and the music....wanted....for armed roberry....rape....and extortion......curentlly looking at 25 to Life.....Bob Joooooones.

[Speng]

Man shot for talking during movie

Phila. man shot because family talked during movie
http://www.philly.com/philly/hp/news_upd...movie.html

INQUIRER STAFF WRITER

A South Philadelphia man enraged because a father and son were talking during a Christmas showing of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button took care of the situation when he pulled a .380-caliber gun and shot the father, police said.
James Joseph Cialella Jr., 29, of the 1900 block of Hollywood Street is charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault, and weapons violations.

"It's truly frightening when you see something like this evolve into such violence," said police spokesman Lt. Frank Vanore.

Police were called to the Riverview Theatre in the 1400 block of Columbus Boulevard about 9:30 p.m. where the gunshot victim, a Philadelphia man who was not identified, told police a man sitting near him told his family to be quiet and threw popcorn at his son.

After exchanging words, Vanore said Cialella allegedly got out of his seat to confront the family when the father got up to protect them. That's when the victim was shot once in the left arm, sending others in the theatre running to safety.

Cialella then sat down to watch the movie. Police arrived a short time later and arrested Cialella and confiscated his weapon, Vanore said.

[Securb]

I was just posting the same story. More of a psycho than a moron. Guess what you will never sit in a movie theater again a-hole. They should throw him in a hole and let him slowly die with a bag of popcorn just out of his reach.

[TooFunny]

Guess what you will never sit in a movie theater again a-hole. They should throw him in a hole and let him slowly die with a bag of popcorn just out of his reach.

Securb, have you never been in a movie theatre where some idiot was chatting away, oblivious to the annoyance of other patrons - or, worse, giving a sarcastic running commentary on the movie? Under the circumstances, Cialella showed great restraint. All he did was throw popcorn and shoot the guy in the arm.

[TooFunny]

[SIZE="4"]Filthy habit identifies thief
[/SIZE]

OKLAHOMA CITY - A trail of tobacco spit has led investigators to a suspect in at least five burglaries across eastern Oklahoma, police said.

Randy Lee Shoopman Jr., 33, was charged with 11 counts of second-degree burglary after a sample of his DNA matched that taken from expectorant left behind at the scene of several burglaries in Oklahoma, said a spokesman for the Tahlequah police department.

Shoopman was taken into custody Friday in Merced, Calif., on an unrelated charge. Investigators also said Shoopman may be involved in break-ins at businesses across eastern Oklahoma and in Missouri.

Stilwell police detective Chad Smith said he was investigating the burglary of an insurance company in September when he noticed a tobacco stain on papers in the ransacked office.

"None of the ladies that worked there chewed tobacco," Smith said. "You could tell that the stains were from the suspect."

Smith said he sent a sample of the spit to the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation for testing. Detectives in Tahlequah who were investigating Shoopman as a possible suspect in a string of burglaries obtained a warrant to get a DNA sample from him.

The sample linked him to at least five burglaries in which the suspect also left behind tobacco spit.

The evidence helps build a strong case for prosecutors, said Shannon Otteson, assistant district attorney in Adair County.

"Eyewitness testimony is unreliable at best. Even video tape surveillance is sometimes grainy. But this is pretty good," Otteson said. "Through this guy's bad habit, we could possibly solve several different burglaries."