Moron of the week

[Speng]

Group of deaf, mute friends stabbed at bar after thug mistakes sign language for gang signs

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national...nguag.html

A group of deaf friends were stabbed at a bar in Florida after a woman mistook their sign language for gang signs.

Alfred Stewart, 31, was partying at the Ocean's Eleven Lounge in Hallendale Beach, Fla., with some friends who were also deaf on Saturday night when the group's signing caught the eye of gang-banger Barbara Lee.

The 45-year-old Lee though the group was throwing gang signs at her, and responded by flashing gang signs back at them, cops said.

The group motioned for her to leave them alone.

Eventually, Lee left the bar but returned with two members of her crew, 19-year-old Marco Ibanez and a 17-year-old who was not identified, cops said.

Ibanez allegedly pulled a knife and began stabbing Stewart and his friends.

Stewart and three of his friends were taken to a hospital and treated for stab wounds.

A bouncer at the bar who had a bottle smashed over his head in the melee was also taken to the hospital. None of the injuries were life-threatening, officials said.

Lee, Ibanez and the 17-year-old were arrested and charged with aggravated battery.

Stewart's mother, Brenda, said there was no way her son was making gang signs.

"Only sign language," she told WSVN television. "That's the only way all of them, they do sign language."

[Speng]

CHARLESTON, W.Va. — A West Virginia man found wearing women's underwear and standing over a goat's carcass told police he was high on bath salts.

Mark L. Thompson of Alum Creek was arrested at his home Monday. A criminal complaint in Kanawha County Magistrate Court charges the 19-year-old with cruelty to animals.

Sheriff's Deputy J.S. Shackelford says witnesses reported Thompson standing near a neighbor's pygmy goat in a bedroom. He was wearing a bra and female underwear. The goat had at least one stab wound.

Cpl. Sean Snuffer says Thompson indicated he had been high and "wasn't in his right mind."

Thompson was held on $50,000 bond Tuesday at the South Central Regional Jail. Jail records didn't indicate whether he had an attorney and no listed phone number was available.

[Securb]

he was high on bath salts.

Ah West Virginia.

[Speng]

Man calls 911 after being shortchanged in crack deal


http://www.live5news.com/story/14571627/...crack-deal

NORTH CHARLESTON, SC (WCSC) -

Police arrested a 41-year-old man last week after he called 911 and told officers that he was not given the correct change after buying crack cocaine from a drug dealer.

The North Charleston Police Department arrested Dexter White for disorderly conduct.

It all started last Friday around 4:30 a.m., when White called authorities and told officers that he had given $60 to a drug dealer for crack and only got back $20 worth of drugs.

White said the drug dealer refused to give him $40 back.

According to a police report, White then walked away from the drug dealer, smoked the crack he purchased and then called 911.

White was locked up at the Charleston County Detention Center.

[Speng]

Miss Wisconsin USA, drop out of Miss USA pageant after identity theft charges

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national...ident.html

A top contender for next month's Miss USA title has dropped out of the pageant after being charged with identity theft.

Shaletta Porterfield, who was set to appear as Miss Wisconsin USA, resigned from the beauty contest on Friday after being charged with three counts of stealing someone's identity for financial gain.

The Madison beauty told investigators she had forged signatures of business owners on advertising contracts while working for a marketing company last year, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported.

But business owners got wind of the scheme when the marketing company asked them to proof some ads they hadn't agreed to buy.

Robert Nagel, Porterfield's lawyer, said the beauty queen hatched the bogus plot because she was under a lot of pressure from the company to hit her commission goals.

"It's unfortunate, but she has a lot going for her, and she's ready to move on," Nagel told the paper.

Nagel said Porterfield will probably resolve the charges with an agreement that would allow her to pay fines or fulfill other requirements in order to avoid prosecution.

First runner-up Jordan Morkin, of Green Bay, will represent Wisconsin at the Miss USA pageant in Las Vegas in June.

Porterfield's troubles are only the most recent black spot for the annual pageant, which is owned by Donald Trump.

The 2010 winner, Rima Fakih, embarrassed pageant officials after a local radio station in her hometown in Michigan reveled her pole-dancing past.

Fakih, the first-ever Arab-American Miss USA, had won the radio station's "Stripper 101" contest by sexing it up on a stripper pole at a Detroit gentleman's club in 2007.

[Speng]

http://www.wtsp.com/news/watercooler/art...0-too-many

HUDSON, Florida (AP) -- A man told Pasco County Sheriff's deputies he had about 10 beers too many as he celebrated his birthday.

Fifty-eight-year-old James Taylor says he drank 48 beers on Thursday evening, prompting a stern lecture from a deputy for causing a disturbance at Hudson Beach.

Officials say Taylor, a transient, left the beach. But he came back, and officials say this time he caused such a ruckus that he scared a woman and her young grandchildren.

An arrest report states that Taylor exposed his genitals and "urinated in the middle of the sand."

He also continued to shout profanities.

A deputy returned to the beach, arrested Taylor and took him to the Land O'Lakes jail. He is charged with disorderly intoxication in a public place and causing a disturbance.

[Speng]

British man removes wart with shotgun, also loses finger

http://www.news.com.au/world/british-man...6076615766

A BRITISH man blasted off his own finger with a shotgun to remove a wart that would not clear up with ointments and creams. Sean Murphy, from Doncaster in northern England, got rid of the blemish that had bothered him for more than five years, along with most of his finger, the Doncaster Star reported.

The 38-year-old security guard, who does not regret his extreme method of wart removal, avoided being jailed for illegal possession of a firearm at Doncaster Magistrates' Court yesterday.

Murphy, who was given a suspended 16-week prison sentence, said, "I'm happy with that. I know I could have gone to jail for up to 15 years for a firearms offence. My solicitor did a very good job."

He added, "The best thing is that the wart has gone. It was giving me (a) lot of trouble."

Murphy said the only reason he shot off most of his finger along with the thumbnail-sized wart in March was because of the weapon's recoil.

"I didn't expect to lose my finger as well when I shot it, but the gun recoiled, and that was it," he said. "The wart was gone, and so was most of my finger. There was nothing left so no chance to re-attach it."

Murphy told the court that he found the shotgun in a hedge in the town earlier in the year. He pleaded guilty to theft of the shotgun by finding and possessing it without a valid firearms certificate.

Richard Haigh, defending, said that Murphy was "a victim of his own stupidity when domestic pressures got to him."

Murphy was also ordered to complete 100 hours of unpaid community work and pay costs of $152.

[Speng]

Police arrest alleged portable toilet peeper in Vail


http://www.9news.com/news/article/204782...r-in-Vail-

BOULDER - Police say the man who they believed hid in a portable toilet at a weekend yoga festival was arrested in Vail on Thursday.

Luke Irvin Chrisco, 30, was arrested by Vail Police on a traffic charge. Boulder Police say that charge is unrelated to the incident at the Hanuman Yoga Festival in Boulder on June 17.

Chrisco was taken into custody at a gas station after witnesses say he had been panhandling.

An astute officer in Vail realized that Chrisco resembled the yoga festival suspect and alerted Boulder Police.

Police say a woman attending the festival lifted the lid in the portable toilet and thought she saw something moving inside the tank. She believed there may have been a person inside the tank, left the portable toilet, and asked a nearby man to go in and check.

The man told police he saw someone inside the tank covered in a tarp.

After the man left the toilet, he says he heard it lock from the inside. Kobel says a festival security supervisor waited outside the portable toilet for several minutes before the suspect came out.

The suspect ran away, covered in feces. The security supervisor tried to detain the suspect, but wasn't able to.

[3daddict]

The suspect ran away, covered in feces. The security supervisor tried to detain the suspect, but wasn't able to.

Can't say that that wasn't the perfect getaway

[Speng]

I don't think security tried too hard to catch the guy.