Moron of the week

[3dR3]

take her kids and sew her vagina shut.

the damage has been done

[Securb]

An Ohio man found himself grounded when his anti-Semitic vitriol got him yanked from a plane.

"I want to kill all the Jews," Mansor Mohammad Asad proclaimed as cops removed him from a Detroit-bound Northwest Airlines flight out of Miami-Dade International airport, cops said.

The 43-year-old Toledo resident's ranting reportedly forced the taxiing flight to return to the gate, where he was arrested.

Asad was chanting in a foreign language and claiming to be Palestinian, witnesses reportedly told investigators who boarded the plane.

When approached by cops, Asad spewed threats at the officers, the Associated Press reported, citing a police affidavit. "I'm not afraid of you cops, I've gotten in fights with cops in Ohio and broke their arms in three places," Asad said, according to the affidavit. "I've broken skulls too!"
He was brought down with a stun gun after charging an officer. Cops found no weapons explosives after searching Asad.

[Securb]

Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials.
“Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”

The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.” “In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.”

According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.

“They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!”

“I…I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket, and he…he didn’t even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, ‘You can’t prove that.’ Next thing I know he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and would not let me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman.”

Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.”

Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed “surprise” at the allegations.

[Ransack]

That's so ridiculously over the top it sounds fake. Hilarious though.

[davien]

That's so ridiculously over the top it sounds fake. Hilarious though.

It is fake. Glossynews is a satirical website. But agreat piece of satire it is!

[3dR3]

That's so ridiculously over the top it sounds fake. Hilarious though.

I could actually see that happening in that part of PA...

[Speng]

Man's penis removed from pipe

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopi...-pipe.html

A man who went to casualty with his penis stuck in a steel pipe had to be cut free by firefighters using a metal grinder.

Medics at Southampton General Hospital could not get the man's penis out of the stainless steel pipe because the restricted blood flow had caused it to become aroused.

So they called in Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service.

They turned up with a special equipment unit from St Mary's station in Southampton and seven firefighters to help in what a spokesman said was a ''delicate operation''.

The firefighters used the four-and-a-half-inch grinder to cut the pipe from around the man's penis and it took about 30 minutes.

The patient was given an anaesthetic and his penis was left bruised and swollen but otherwise unharmed.

The anxious man aged about 40 gave hospital staff no explanation about how the pipe got stuck after he turned up on Tuesday morning.

A Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service spokesman said: ''Initially the crew did not have the appropriate cutting equipment to free the man.

''It was a very delicate operation that required a very steady hand and the crew was worried about things getting too hot during the cutting.

''It's certainly an unusual call-out and I'm sure the man won't be getting into that situation again.''

[Securb]

four-and-a-half-inch grinder ''

Sounds like my dick

[Speng]

Chelsea rabbit rapist convicted of cruelty

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regiona...id=1224065

Animal lovers be warned - this report is not for the squeamish.

Abel Aguirre, 38, of Chelsea was convicted yesterday of animal cruelty for having sex with his roommate’s rabbit, the Suffolk County District Attorney’s Office said. He faces up to 2 years in the House of Correction and a $2,500 fine at sentencing today.

Aguirre assaulted the rabbit June 1, 2008, district attorney spokesman Jake Wark said. Aguirre’s roommate told investigators she came home and found blood and clumps of rabbit fur on the bathroom floor and a claw belonging to the bunny. In Aguirre’s room, she found a used condom with rabbit fur on it. The rabbit was injured and bleeding.

“My jaw hit the floor,” one juror said about the disturbing testimony. The rabbit has died, but not of its injuries, Wark said.

[3dR3]

Sounds like my dick

yeah, same here, only I folded mine in half