Moron of the week

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Way to go Eddie, class act all the way.

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Three family members at a wedding in Turkey have been accidentally shot dead by the groom firing an AK-47 rifle in celebration.

The groom, Tevfik Altin, lost control of his rifle, spraying the guests with bullets and killing his father and two aunts and injuring six others, according to CNN Turk.

It reported that Altin had been arrested after the incident in the village of Akcagoze in southeastern Turkey. Guns are often fired into the air in celebration in some parts of Turkey.

One family member, who did not give his name, told CNN: "It happened very quickly. We all tried to take cover and there was blood all over. We are all very sad right now."

The injured guests included three children aged 10, 12 and 16, according to CNN Turk.

The Sehitkamil State hospital where some of the injured were brought confirmed it has one patient still in the hospital.

[3dR3]

no one thought to use blanks?

hmmm, that's odd.

[Speng]

Man Arrested For Putting Semen in Female Co-Worker's Water Bottle

http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpp/news/offbeat/...tle-082010

FULLERTON, Calif. - A man was arrested Tuesday in California for ejaculating twice into a female co-worker’s water bottle.

Officers say that in January 2010, 31 year old Michael Kevin Lallana entered a female co-workers office at the Northwestern Mutual Mortgage Company in Newport Beach, California and ejaculated into a water bottle that was on her desk. The semen-filled water bottle was left on the office desk. The female later returned and drank the contents of the water bottle. The victim reported feeling ill after drinking the water.

Police say that approximately three months later in April 2010, Lallana again ejaculated into a water bottle that the same female co-worker left on her desk. Again the victim returned to her office and drank from the semen-filled water bottle. This time, after feeling ill again, the victim sent it to a private lab to be tested.

In June 2010, the female was contacted by the private lab who confirmed that the water bottle contained semen. The victim reported the incidents to the Orange Police Department.

In early July, following further investigation by the police and the Orange County Crime Lab, the defendant was linked through DNA to the crimes. Lallana was arrested Tuesday outside of his home.

Lallana was charged with two misdemeanor counts each of releasing an offensive material in a public place and assault, with sentencing allegations for committing a crime for sexual gratification.

If convicted, he faces a sentence ranging from a minimum of three months to a maximum of three years in jail with mandatory sex offender registration.

In a disturbing story out of Maryland, a man was arrested in July for throwing semen on women who were shopping in a Michael’s Craft store and in a Giant super market.

In this case police believe the suspect, Michael Wayne Edwards, Jr., used a spray bottle to spray the semen on the women’s backs!

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This world is going to shit

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A man taken into custody for rape allegations now faces obscenity charges after police say he was caught stroking himself inside a police interrogation room.

Kansas City police arrested 25-year-old Cortez R. Moorman after they say he attempted to rape a woman he offered a ride home.

The unidentified victim tells police that she was walking home when Moorman spotted her and lied, saying that he was a friend of her nephew.
After getting the woman into the car he allegedly pulled into a neighboring parking lot and demanded fellatio threatening to kill the woman if she refused.

When she did saying, “You'll just have to kill me”, Moorman reportedly punched her in the eyes, nose and mouth before she fought back and escaped.

The woman was caught by Moorman a second and third time however and police say he attempted to penetrate and sodomize her before she escaped a final time and alerted authorities.

When police left Moorman in a police interrogation room he reportedly blocked the door with his chair, pulled out his penis and began to masturbate.

When police ordered him to stop they say he covered himself but continued to stroke his penis through his pants.

Police say he continued the fondling throughout the interview.
He is charged with attempted forcible rape, attempted forcible sodomy, felonious restrain and two counts of third-degree assault for his crimes against the woman.

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Man denies owning bag of crack found in his crack

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2010/10/man...crack.html

It all started when Raymond Roberts was pulled over in his Hyundai by the Manatee County, FL (yes, that's a real place), sheriff's office on Wednesday for speeding. When the cops approached his car, it apparently reeked of weed, so they made the 25-year-old get out of the car for a search.

During the search, when Deputy Sean Cappiello "felt a soft object in the crack of his buttocks," the suspect "began to tense up." Roberts volunteered to remove the item. “Let me get it, hold on” he said, and proceeded to place a "clear plastic baggie with a green leafy substance" on the car's hood.

It was 4.5 ounces of marijuana — though probably any situation in which a cop is groping around your butt crack would probably make you "tense up."

Roberts conceded that the weed was his, but the search didn't end there:
But, as the deputy reported, "I then searched his shorts again and felt another object that was in the crack of his buttocks. I pulled the object out from the exterior of his shorts and a clear plastic baggie with a white rock substance fell to the ground." This plastic bag, a test would later determine, contained 27 pieces of crack cocaine.

Roberts was quick to clarify the ownership situation. "The white stuff is not mine," he said. "But the weed is." Just because a bag of drugs is in your ass doesn't mean you own it. (It could be your son's, for example, and you are just about to mouth kiss it to him.) The crack cocaine had just been left in the car by a friend, you see, and when the cops pulled him over he decided to do himself and his friend a favor and stick it up his butt. It actually makes perfect sense, when you think about it.

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http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2010/sep/...ide-store/

FORT MYERS — A couple engaging in some “afternoon delight” under a tree at a Good to Go convenience store on Fort Myers Beach were charged with indecent exposure Saturday.

Brenda Carole Prothero, 48, of the 5500 block of 2nd Avenue, Fort Myers, and George William Pomfret Jr., 49, a transient, remained Monday in Lee County Jail pending posting of $5,000 bond each.

According to a Lee County Sheriff’s Office report:

Just after 2:35 p.m. a deputy went to the convenience store in the 16000 block of San Carlos Boulevard to investigate an indecent exposure report.

She saw a naked man and a woman who only had a white T-shirt on, having “sexual intercourse in plain view underneath a tree… Both subjects were speaking to each other, saying ‘Don’t stop. Right there….More.’”

The deputy announced herself, but the couple didn’t stop. The deputy again said: “Sheriff’s Office. Get up and get dressed.” The couple then complied.

The store manager, Ramona Donato told the deputy: “They have been on the property having sex for (more than) an hour. Several of my customers were buying stuff at the store with their children. They could see them having sex under the tree.”

Donato said she tried to get the couple to stop, “but they just ignored me and kept going. This made me sick and I was offended.”

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Woman drove for months with dead body in passenger seat

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39796763/ns/us_news-life/

COSTA MESA, Calif. — Medical examiners have identified a mummified corpse that was left in a car's passenger seat for 10 months in Southern California, a police spokesman said Friday.

Authorities had said earlier it could take weeks to identify the homeless woman, but the Orange County coroner's office was able to rehydrate the desiccated body's fingertips to obtain a usable fingerprint, said Costa Mesa police Detective Sgt. Paul Beckman. The office will not release the name until next-of-kin are notified, he said.

The woman's remains, discovered Monday in a car parked illegally in Costa Mesa, are little more than skin and bones and weigh 30 pounds, said police Sgt. Ed Everett.

The car's driver befriended the homeless woman in a park in nearby Fountain Valley and told her she could sleep in the car. When she found the woman dead in the passenger seat, she was afraid to tell police, Everett said.

The driver is a 57-year-old former real estate agent from Corona del Mar, an upscale beach community, who herself had fallen on hard times and was living with friends, he said.
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Authorities have not determined if the driver, whose name has been withheld, will face any charges in the case.

An autopsy showed no signs of trauma. Toxicology reports could take six weeks or more, Everett said.

"We would obviously be looking at what laws deal with the transportation of bodies. Ultimately, this is still an undetermined death," Beckman said. "There's still a vast amount of investigation necessary."

The woman whose car she died in last saw her in December, but it wasn't immediately clear when she discovered the body, Everett said.

The driver had placed a box of baking soda in the car to mask the smell and covered the body with a blanket and some clothes, he said.

Officers found it Monday when they noticed a stench while responding to a call about an illegally parked vehicle.

[Speng]

Man Charged With Attacking Girlfriend With Corn Dog

http://www.tcoasttalk.com/2010/10/19/for...-corn-dog/

FORT PIERCE - A man accused of throwing a mustard-covered corn dog that hit his live-in girlfriend during a weekend fracas faces misdemeanor charges, according to a recently released arrest affidavit.

Fort Pierce police arrested Tommie Lee Mckeliver, 48, on Saturday after his beau told investigators he “got mad at her and threw a paper plate that contained a mustard covered State Fair corn dog on it.” The corn dog crashed into her chest area, leaving her “coated” in mustard.

“(The girlfriend) stunned by the situation then found herself being pushed out of the room, and (the) door locked behind her,” the affidavit states.

The alleged corn dog attack happened shortly before 2 p.m. at an apparent hotel in the 500 block of North Second Street.

Generally speaking, corn dogs are hot dogs coated in cornmeal batter and deep fried. They are served on a wooden stick with some corn dog connoisseurs preferring to dip their dogs in ketchup, mustard or other condiments. The affidavit didn’t specify what type of mustard coated the corn dog Mckeliver is accused of throwing.
Police knocked on the door of the room but got no response. The girlfriend said she could get a spare key from the hotel manager and opened the room. Mckeliver was seated and listening to headphones.

Police asked the accused corn dog chucker for his name.

Mckeliver never supplied police with his name, but an intake deputy at the St. Lucie County jail recognized him.

Mckeliver, of the 500 block of North Second Street, was arrested on misdemeanor charges including domestic battery and resisting without violence.