Moron of the week

[Speng]

Cardiac arrest: Man faked heart attack when dinner bill arrived

http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=769144

Posted: July 3, 2008

Robert P. Farnam is, police say, a faker.

Monday, for instance.

According to a criminal complaint and police records, Farnam took a cab to Mayfair Mall that day and, rather than squaring up with the cabbie, pretended to have a heart attack.

The cabbie left unpaid.

Farnam, who is 5’10” and weighs 269 pounds, then went to the Applebee’s at Mayfair and ordered something to eat. He had a sirloin steak, salad, mashed potatoes, a soda, a strawberry smoothie and a brownie. His bill came to $22.66.

Again, he pretended to have a heart attack. The Wauwatosa Fire Department whisked him to Wisconsin Heart Hospital.

A doctor at the hospital, William T. Kumprey, was tired of seeing Farnam.

Farnam had been to the hospital several times in the last month or so. He had used his fake heart attack routine at Silk — an exotic lounge — at several restaurants and while getting out of various cabs.

The doctor told Farnam he would call the police the next time he caught him faking the clutch of death to avoid paying his bills.

Farnam let it slip that he had, earlier that very day, after a hearty meal for which he did not pay, absconded to Froedtert Hospital.

The doctor called police.

Farnam told police he had $350 at home but hadn’t taken any money with him that day. He wasn’t planning on needing it.

When police checked Farnam’s record, they found five priors for similar offenses this year alone, and several priors in the years before.

He was on probation, and a condition of his probation was that he keep away from various restaurants, including Famous Dave’s and George Webb.

Applebee’s was not on the list, and so Farnam avoided being placed on a probation hold.

He was, however, charged Thursday with fraud on a restaurant, habitual criminality.

If convicted, Farnam, who is 52 and lives in Waukesha, faces up to two years and nine months in prison.