Moron of the week

[Speng]

Bali Teenager Passes Out While Marrying Cow He Violated

A Balinese teenager caught in the act of intercourse with a cow passed out on Friday when he was forced to marry the animal in a ceremony witnessed by hundreds of curious onlookers.

As the Jakarta Globe reported earlier in the day, Ngurah Alit, 18, an unemployed youth from the seaside village of Yeh Embang in Jembrana, was caught stark naked positioned behind the cow in a rice paddy field.

In his defense, Alit admitted to the act of bestiality but claimed the cow, which he believed was a young and beautiful woman, had wooed him with flattering compliments.

As part of a Pecaruan ritual, a ceremony to cleanse the village of the unholy act of a man mating with a cow, Alit was forced to “marry” the animal.

Alit, however, according to Detik.com, passed out surrounded by locals and police, who were attempting to prevent a number of journalists from covering the spectacle.

It is unclear whether or not he got to say “I do.”

Alit’s collapse prompted his mother to begin screaming hysterically, while other family members shouted at photographers not to take pictures.

“Poor kid. He’s actually a quiet kid,” one villager said.

As part of the ceremony, Alit’s victim and new bride was drowned in ocean.

Alit, on the other hand, was symbolically drowned and bathed on the beach.

“Only his clothes were thrown into the sea,” the villager said.

Village chief Ida Bagus Legawa declared that the village had been “cleansed” from the “defilement from the incident.”

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Dont worry Speng we wont drown your goat

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Police conducted a sting Tuesday in the parking lot of the Chula Vista Courthouse, resulting in 16 citations for motorists driving on suspended licenses as a result of convictions for driving under the influence and nine for motorists who had no licenses.

The court sting is designed to identify offenders participating in court programs and violating terms of their sentences.

Twenty-four vehicles were impounded. One passenger of an impounded vehicle was arrested on suspicion of having a controlled substance for sale.
Four other citations were issued for vehicle code violations.

[Speng]

http://www.wtsp.com/rss/article/272775/5...um=twitter

PORT ST. LUCIE, Florida -- A teenager is recovering after
police say he shot himself in the penis and testicle while cleaning a gun he just bought.

It happened Thursday morning at a home on the 200 block of Verada Street in Port St. Lucie.

Police say 18-year-old Michael Smeriglio first lied to police saying someone shot him while he was walking down the street. After being questioned by police he admitted to accidentally doing it himself.

Doctors say the bullet went through his penis, his left testicle and then lodged itself in his thigh.

Smeriglio told police he bought the gun last month at a party.

While police were investigating at the home where it happened, they discovered marijuana in the house. That led to the arrest of the homeowner Joseph Lamar James, 22, on drug charges.

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[Speng]

Florida man dies after winning roach-eating contest

http://www.cnn.com/2012/10/09/us/florida...index.html

A 32-year-old man downed dozens of roaches and worms to win a python at a Florida reptile store, then collapsed and died outside minutes later.

Edward Archbold was among 20 to 30 contestants participating in Friday night's "Midnight Madness" event at Ben Siegel Reptiles in Deerfield Beach, authorities said.

The participants' goal: consume as many insects and worms as they could to take home a $850 python.

Archbold swallowed roach after roach, worm after worm. While the store didn't say exactly how many Archbold consumed, the owner told CNN affiliate WPLG that he was "the life of the party."

"He really made our night more fun," Ben Siegel told the station.

Soon after the contest was over, Archbold fell ill and began to vomit, the Broward County Sheriff's Office said Monday.

A friend called for medical help. Then, Archbold himself dialed 911, the store said in a Facebook post.

Eventually, he fell to the ground outside the store, the sheriff's office said. An ambulance took him to North Broward Medical Center, where he was pronounced dead.

The Broward Medical Examiner's Office conducted an autopsy and are awaiting test results to determine the cause of his death.

No other contestant fell ill, the sheriff's office said.

"Very saddened by this. I mean, it was a shock," Siegel told WPLG. "Eddie was a very nice guy. We just met him that night, but everybody that works here was very fond of him."

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This idiot must know that there is a video camera in the store. He freaking works there

http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/vi...set_size=1

[Speng]

Man Pooping Between Subway Cars Falls And Dies

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/16...86211.html

One man was fatally struck by a train and another was seriously hurt in unrelated incidents just minutes apart at the East 125th Street 4/5/6 station Tuesday afternoon, officials said.

The man who was killed was riding between cars on an uptown 6 train when he fell off and landed on the tracks at the station, at Lexington Avenue and East 125th Street, just after 4:30 p.m., said Paul Browne, the NYPD's chief spokesman.

The victim, 31, was struck by the 6 train as it was leaving the station, Browne said. He was pronounced dead at the scene, the MTA and FDNY said.

Witnesses said they saw the man defecating between the train cars shortly before he fell to his death, Browne said.

[Speng]

Drunk Snowman Sex Leads To Penis Frostbite

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=9dc_1358895327

Kenneth Guillespie, 64, a professional drunk from Blackburn, England was hard at work when he noticed a snowman on the way home. He then decided to carve out a hole and have sex with the snowman while continuing his bender. By the time he was "done", bottles littered the ground, the snowman was destroyed, and Kenneth was screaming because his junk had gotten frostbite. As if this wasn't enough of a lesson, apparently the entire community is ready to lynch Kenneth for what he did to the children's snowman:
Ian Jessop of the Ramsgreave and Brownhill Community Security said: “If that dirty fucker comes back here after what he did. I won’t be responsible for the reaction of the community."

“Several people have already vowed to dismember him after what he did to the kids’ snowman.”

“He left” a pile of empty bottles, a wrecked snowman and a trail of frozen man-juice in the middle of the community recreation ground.”

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[youtube]lLA7dQ-uxR0[/youtube]