Moron of the week

[Securb]

Investigators said 57-year-old Jorge Lewis Rivera, of New Jersey, walked across a dark area of the highway, and after crossing the concrete median, he stopped in the middle of the travel lane and began drinking a beer.

While Rivera was in the roadway, a sport utility vehicle hit him, and he died at the scene.

Stopped to drink his last beer.

Police said Rivera was intoxicated at the time.

That is some fine police work there Lou. Did you need a tox-screen to figure that out?

Read more: http://www.wesh.com/news/pedestrian-kill...z33cbNo6PD

[Securb]

Gwyneth Paltrow: Mean words hurt water's feelings

“I am fascinated by the growing science behind the energy of consciousness and its effects on matter,” she wrote on her website GOOP. “I have long had Dr Emoto's coffee table book on how negativity changes the structure of water, how the molecules behave differently depending on the words or music being expressed around it.”

Her scientists friend Dr. Habib Sadeghi described an experiment where “Emoto poured pure water into vials labelled with negative phrases like 'I hate you' or 'Fear'. After 24 hours, the water was frozen, and no longer crystallised under the microscope: It yielded grey, misshapen clumps instead of beautiful lace-like crystals.”

In contrast, he wrote water labeled “'I love you' or 'Peace'” produced “gleaming, perfectly hexagonal crystals.

[Speng]

Wow, she's as smart as water. I love when stupid celebrities try to sound intelligent, deep or spiritual. It usually ends up like that.

[Securb]

A Florida man is facing obscenity and stalking charges after allegedly sexting a series of explicit photos to a local cop, according to investigators.

Police report that Paul Kirleis, 30, dialed 911 early Sunday morning to report a suspicious vehicle in his Marco Island neighborhood. Following up, Officer Ryan Montgomery “returned Paul’s call using his department issued cell phone,” according to a Marco Island Police Department report.

After the suspicious car matter was “resolved,” Montgomery received a text message from Kirleis’s phone asking, “Who’s this??” A second text declared, “I am boo.” The cop then received three separate photos from Kirleis’s phone. “The pictures were of a male subject wearing little to no clothing,” police noted.

One photo showed the man “in a black thong and nothing else.” A second image showed “a nude male subject bent over forward, exposing his anus with his testicles tucked between his legs.” The final picture showed “a male wearing lingerie bent over forward exposing his anus and looking back at the camera.”

The photos were followed by a text stating, “Sooo.”

[Agileguy]

lol the look on his face

[Securb]

Short on cash, the 29-year-old Floridian allegedly offered to provide a salad to a prostitute in exchange for oral sex, according to cops.

Liverman was arrested Monday morning during a reverse sting that netted nine other men for soliciting a prostitute. The hookers in question were actually undercover Daytona Beach Police Department officers.

While negotiating a liaison with a female officer, Liverman--who was “operating a bicycle”--revealed that he did not have any money. “I’m hungry, you got food?” the undercover asked. Liverman replied, “I got a salad,” according to a booking affidavit.

“I’ll give you a blow job for a salad,” the cop declared. Liverman replied, “You ready to go?” The document does not detail the location of Liverman’s salad (or its street value). Liverman was busted because he and the cop “agreed upon the sexual act in exchange for food,” investigators reported.

During a court appearance yesterday, Liverman, a Daytona Beach resident, pleaded no contest to the misdemeanor charge (for which he was found guilty by a Circuit Court judge). Liverman was sentenced to two days in jail and fined $500.

[Speng]

He doesn't look like a dude who enjoys a salad.

[Speng]

More idiots on Craigslist...I have a vehicle for sale and I specifically said I was taking offers, I'm not sure of the value. I've had at least six morons email me, "how much is it?"

I keep throwing out progressively higher numbers. If they can't read and comprehend that I'm taking offers, maybe they won't realize my price is high.

Keep in mind I had my initial post up a few days before I had pictures available, just to gauge interest. At that time I said, "No pictures at the moment, I'll update the ad once I have them." That time I had around ten idiots, "any pics?"

I hate dealing with people when selling a vehicle.

[Speng]

I had to change my ad to address all of the emails that simply game me phone numbers to call.

Some mentally challenged person just sent me an email with his phone number. I replied I'd rather answer questions via email. He responded, "How are we suppose to deal then ?."

I don't know asshole, maybe the way we're communicating now.

Are people too lazy to read an ad or do they just not comprehend English?

[Dr. Vegetable]

More idiots on Craigslist...I have a vehicle for sale and I specifically said I was taking offers, I'm not sure of the value. I've had at least six morons email me, "how much is it?"

Will you trade it for a nice salad?