Moron of the week

[Securb]

Loveland police officers said they found the ambulance in the middle of Highway 34 with several doors open, heavy front-end damage and fluid leaking.

One officer said it appeared the driver of the ambulance had hit the raised median, jumped the curb, hit a sign, went the wrong way and crossed back over the median before stopping.

Officers said they found 18-year-old Stefan Sortland standing about 30 yards from the stopped ambulance wearing an EMT vest. Officers shot him with a stun gun when he refused their commands. Sortland had a blanket, a cell phone and a box of Wheat Thins with him.
After eventually subduing the 18-year-old, the cops took him back to the station, where more hijinks ensued:

Sortland was taken to the Loveland Police Department.

There he "stood on a bench, kicked the wall, and masturbated," according to the police report.

Police said during his interview with officers, Sortland made a reference that his "friends/roommates were dead, in heaven, and had committed suicide."
Somebody find that kid a better dealer. That was some bad molly.

[Securb]

Bah, humbug!

A passenger was tossed off a plane at La Guardia Airport on Tuesday after flipping out — because airline workers wished him a merry Christmas.
The man was waiting to board American Airlines Flight 1140 to Dallas when a cheerful gate agent began welcoming everyone with the Yuletide greeting while checking boarding passes.

The grumpy passenger, who appeared to be traveling alone, barked at the woman, “You shouldn’t say that because not everyone celebrates Christmas.”
The agent replied, “Well, what should I say then?”“Don’t say, ‘Merry Christmas!’ ” the man shouted before brushing past her.

Once on the plane, he was warmly greeted by a flight attendant who also wished him a “merry Christmas.” That was the last straw.

“Don’t say, ‘Merry Christmas!’ ” the man raged before lecturing the attendants and the pilot about their faux pas.

The crew tried to calm the unidentified man, but he refused to back down and continued hectoring them.

He was escorted off the plane as other fliers burst into cheers and applause.
American Airlines did not return a request for comment.

[LesStrat]

Sheesh. Now he'll blame the airline for ruining his Christmas. Lol

[Securb]

DON'T SAY CHRISTMAS!

[Dr. Vegetable]

911 Butt Dial Busts Underage Drinkers in Rothschild, Wisconsin

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/911-...in-n312386

[LesStrat]

And THAT is why I don't carry my phone in my back pocket!

[Dr. Vegetable]

I butt-dial SIRI all the time.

[LesStrat]

I have noticed lately that when I wear jeans and put my phone in the front pocket, sometimes Siri gets activated.

I don't wear jeans often.

[GoldenVulture]

Caravan destroyed after Darwin woman lights fire to eradicate snake[/quote]
- http://www.ntnews.com.au/news/northern-t...7239605751 -

[quote]A FLAWED plan to kill a snake has ended with a caravan destroyed by fire.

Police were called to a property on Finn Rd, Berry Springs on Wednesday night after a woman attempted to eradicate a snake she thought had slithered into her caravan.

The woman had earlier in the evening called snake catchers to remove the snake.

Humpty Doo police Constable Gary Palmer said the woman hatched a plan to get rid of the snake over several beers.

“(She) came up with a plan of extreme heat in the hope it may slither away to cooler area, and as such she set a fire at the base of the caravan,” he said.
“The snake remains at large and the caravan has been eradicated.”

Constable Palmer said after police and fire crews attended the scene, they left her in peace to continue to work on a plan of attack

[Speng]

911 Butt Dial Busts Underage Drinkers in Rothschild, Wisconsin

Bunch of idiots in Wisconsin, unreal.