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Random Jokes Pt 1
#1
An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard ...

I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home.

He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, resumed his position in the hall, and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks.

Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."

The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar:

"He lives in a home with ten children -- He's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"

-------


An out of shape old guy was working out in the gym...

... when he spotted a sweet young thing. He asked the trainer that was near by "What machine in here should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?"

The trainer looked him up and down and said "I would try the ATM in the lobby."


-----



A young man called his mother and announced excitedly...

... that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home- cooked meal?"

He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later, the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone.

"I was totally humiliated," he moaned. "She insisted on washing the dishes."

"What's wrong with that?" asked his mother. "I think it's a wonderful gesture."

"We hadn't started eating yet." He replied.


-------




After several exciting dates, Jim invited Tina over to his house for a home-cooked dinner.

When she sat down at the table, she noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that she had ever seen in her life.

"Have these dishes ever been washed?" Tina asked, running her fingers over the grit and grime.

Jim replied, "They're as clean as soap and water could get them."

Tina felt a bit apprehensive, but started eating. It was really delicious and she said so, despite the dirty dishes.

When dinner was over, Jim took the dishes outside, whistled and yelled for his dogs, "Here, Soap! Here, Water!"

securb
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