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Wow - That's Some Expensive...
#1
I'll let the link do the talking...
Proud Deplorable/Listless Vessel/Garbage!
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#2
I'm in the wrong line of work.
Trust me, I'm a medical professional. 
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#3
This one costs more, but the name is not as funny.

I just finished a cup of Father's Blend. I've ordered from them a couple of times. I like their teas.
Because I said so. 
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