Groan!

[lreese]

A 98yo man married an 18yo girl, and no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't seem to have any children.

So they went to see a doctor, and he examined them both. Husband and wife seemed to be in good health, but the doctor wanted to be sure ...

So he said to the old man "I want to run a Sperm count test on you. Take this bottle, go into the next room, and, uhhhh ... do whatever you have to do to produce a sample."

An hour goes by, and the old man is still in the next room. The doctor knocks on the door and says "Any luck yet?" and the old man replies "I'm doing the best I can, doc." The doctor tells him "Try using your other hand."

Another hour goes by, and still nothing. The doctor knocks on the door, and the old man says "I'm doing the best I can, doc." The doctor says "Try using BOTH hands on it."

Another hour goes by, and the doctor says to the young wife "Why don't you go in there and see if you can help him?" The wife says "What should I do?" And the doctor tells her "Look, you're husband and wife. I'm sure you'll figure it out together."

So another hour goes by, and the old man comes out of the room. He's drenched in sweat, he's out of breath, his clothes are disheveled, and his wife isn't in much better shape. He handles the bottle to the doctor and its EMPTY.

The old man says "Gee, doc. I'm really sorry. I tried it with my left hand, and it didn't work. I tried it with my right hand, and it didn't work. I tried using BOTH hands on it, and it still didn't work. My wife even tried using her mouth on it, but no matter what we did, we just can't get the cap off of this child-proof bottle."