Moron of the week

[Securb]

SEATTLE — Seattle police say a man who thought he was a ninja was impaled on a metal fence when he tried to leap over it.

An officer who was looking for an assault victim nearby Monday night heard the man screaming for help.

Police supported him to prevent further injuries until medics arrived and took him to a hospital, where he was in serious condition in intensive care on Tuesday.

Police spokeswoman Renee Witt wrote in a department Web site posting that officers thought the man might have been involved in the reported assault, but he insisted he was just a ninja trying to clear a 4- to 5-foot-tall fence.
Witt says the man was "overconfident in his abilities," and that alcohol likely played a role.

His name was not released.

[3dR3]

sweet, I think I'll go google ninja fail..

booya

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/1067079/

[Speng]

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/...n/6729971.html

COLUMBIA, S.C. — When an ambulance brought Daniel Webb home from the hospital after he hurt his knee in March, paramedics warned the then 550-pound man he probably wouldn't be able to get up from his recliner if they put him there, his wife said.

Webb told them to leave him there anyway. He would sit in that recliner, slowly dying, for the next eight months. Finally, paramedics were called back to his Greenwood home on Wednesday because he was in a lot of pain.

Webb's body was physically stuck to the power recliner and firefighters had to cut him from the chair to take him to the hospital. He died a few hours later, his body covered with sores and a "very bad odor," according to a police report.

Webb, 33, didn't ask for help for all those months, because he was ashamed and didn't have health insurance, said his wife, Ada. He slept and used the bathroom in his chair and she cleaned it every day. The former preacher would post sermons online from the chair, and it wasn't long before he decided he was ready to go home to the Lord, she said.

"After he sat there in that one spot for a week, he was embarrassed. It was like he already knew what was going to happen," Ada Webb said.

Webb's mother was the one who placed the final call to paramedics. Not only did crews have to cut apart the chair, but they had to cut a hole in the wall of the couple's mobile home about 70 miles west of Columbia to get him out. A police report said he weighed about 800 pounds, but his wife said he was closer to 500 pounds.

The hospital told Daniel Webb's wife he died from a heart attack, she said. The coroner's office isn't investigating the death and referred all questions to Greenwood County deputies, who sent their report, but didn't respond to a phone message.

Webb died on the couple's second anniversary. They met four years ago on MySpace, and Ada Webb said she didn't see a man who weighed more than 500 pounds, but instead saw a guy who loved the Lord and had a big heart.

Same dude, more details

GREENWOOD, S.C. -- A 700-to 800-pound man died in the hospital on Wednesday after spending more than seven months confined to a chair in his home, according to documents from the Greenwood Sheriff’s Office.

Emergency workers were called on Wednesday morning to the home of Tillmon Claude Daniel Webb, 33, on County Farm Road between Greenwood and the town of Ninety Six.'

The call reported that Webb had been in a chair since March, according to an incident report.

Deputies found Webb inside the mobile home covered in sores, with a “very bad odor ,“ and stuck to a chair. The report said EMS workers had to dismantle the chair in order to free Webb. It also said EMS workers and fire crews had to cut out a wall to remove Webb from the home due to his size.

Webb was taken to Self Regional Hospital in Greenwood where he was immediately taken into protective custody by the South Carolina Department of Social Services. Assistant Coroner Marcia Kelly-Clark contacted the sheriff's office at about 1 p.m with word that Webb had died, the report stated. The cause of death has not been released.

Webb’s mother told deputies that her son called her Tuesday night saying he was in pain and needed help.

She also said her son was hospitalized with a knee injury in March. He came home from the hospital, sat in the chair and “had not moved since,” the report stated. She said he had been urinating and defecating on himself since then. She also said she had no idea her son was in such bad condition.

The man's wife, who also lived in the home, told investigators that her husband did not have insurance, so the hospital transported him back home in March via ambulance. She said that she was unable to move him due to is weight, but she would regularly clean him as best she could.

Webb's wife said he was mentally competent and able to call for help at any time, which, she said, he refused to do. His wife told deputies that he was embarrassed and ashamed of his weight and had no desire to leave his home because when he did, people would point, look, laugh and make fun of him. She said a local church had offered to help the couple in the past, but Webb refused the offer.

Greenwood County Coroner Jim Coursey said Webb's death was due to natural causes brought about by obesity.

The sheriff's office said Thursday that no charges will be filed in the case.

[3dR3]

well that's just too fucking weird......

[Securb]

ST. PETERSBURG — Police arrested a man Friday they say robbed a bank and then had a dye pack explode on him while using a bus to escape.

A tip led police to a room at the Landmark Motel at 1930 4th St. N. Police said they knocked on the door, and Thomas John Castro, 54, answered with a bag of crack cocaine. He was arrested before midnight Thursday.

Castro was charged with possession of cocaine and armed robbery.
Police say Castro is the man who entered a Wachovia branch at 125 Fifth St. S on Thursday and gave a teller a threatening note asking for money. That man was wearing a disguise.

The robber then attempted to escape on a public bus, police say. That's when a red dye pack hidden with the stolen money exploded, which police say is very loud and noticeable. He then exited the bus and was last seen fleeing on foot.
Castro's arrest record is 16 pages long and shows past arrests for trespassing, burglary and grand theft.

It is unknown whether Castro was covered in red dye at the time of his arrest.