Twilight Breaking Dawn Rounds Out Cast With The Addition Of Jamarcus Russell

Access Hollywood reported yesterday that “The Twilight Saga” has cast the Denali vampire coven. This is huge news for fans waiting for the release of Twilight Breaking Dawn.

There are a few Twilight Breaking Dawn additions that have been announced this week. Christian Camargo will play Eleazar, some of you may remember Christian from the critically acclaimed war film The Hurt Locker. Casey LaBow has been cast as Kate, Mia Maestro will portray Carmen and MyAnna Buring will star as Tanya. The scoop that Access Hollywood, TMZ and all other Hollywood insiders missed is ex Oakland Raiders Quarterback Jamarcus Russell has been cast in a supporting role in the fang fest.


Screen writer Melissa Rosenberg said she wanted to depart a bit from Stephenie Meyer’s original text. Twilight Breaking Dawn director Bill Condon also agrees with the casting of Jamarcus Russell and Rosenberg’s script treatment.

“Jamarcus Russell represents modern excess in the film” explained Condon. He went on to say “we wanted to have a vampire with an insatiable appetite. I had a chance meeting with Jamarcus Russell at the In-N-Out Burger in Oakland. I was amazed at the way he savagely tore into burger after burger. “ Condon went on to say “when I saw Jamarcus’ passion and focus as the grease rolled down his face I knew this had to be my new vampire.

Those of you unfamiliar with Jamarcus Russell should know that the ex Oakland Raider has been described as the biggest bust in the history of the NFL. To put this simply, as a Quarterback Jamarcus Russell is pretty bad.

This is a man that by all reports ate himself out of the NFL. We have never seen his acting chops but we are guessing they are as bad as his ball skills. This makes him perfect for the Twilight Saga.

No one in the first three movies could act. Everything Kristen Stewart , Robert Pattinson ,the shirtless Taylor Lautner, Jacob Black and Dakota Fanning have done outside of this franchise has flopped. I would put their acting chops on par with Jamarcus Russell’s football skills. Adding another person to the cast that can’t act wont effect the movie one way or another.

“We all know like Jamarcus Russell on a Sunday, Twilight Breaking Dawn is going to suck like a $20 crackwhore.”Al Davis

The funny thing is I know  Twilight Breaking Dawn going to suck, Stephanie Meyers knows Twilight Breaking Dawn is going to suck, Melissa Rosenberg knew Twilight Breaking Dawn was going to suck before all of us because she wrote the screen play. Still mindless tweens and fat sexually frustrated housewives will line up to see shirtless metrosexuals all day long. I just hope Bill Condon is smart enough to keep the shirt on the morbidly obese Jamarcus Russell.