A Men’s Guide to Black Swan: Fight Club With Lesbians (Pics)

The critically acclaimed Black Swan was released today on Blu-ray and DVD. We were the first in line to pick up a copy. This film has won every award out there – including Natalie Portman winning an Oscar for best Actress. Yes, it is a great film, but it will drain every drop of testosterone out of your body for all but 3 minutes. The three minutes we are taking about is the combined time of Natalie Portman’s masturbation scene and her introduction to rug munching by Milena “Mila” Markovna Kunis. Kunis does some serious bean flicking.

The downside of the lesbian scene is that this is an art film. There isn’t any nude lesbian scissoring going on. There isn’t even any nudity in the film, not even the slightest nip slip. Everything sexual happens with panties on. Mila Kunis does strip off Natalie Portman’s underwear for the cunnilingus scene. Careful camera angles make sure not a tuft of pubic hair is visible to the camera…maybe Natalie Portman is shaved? Or possibly she could have gotten a Brazilian wax for the movie. 

While you will not see Mila Kunis or Natalie Portman nude, this is the closest you will ever get to a Kunis/Portman lesbian sex tape. To breakdown the rest of the film – Black Swan is Fight Club with lesbian ballerinas. Instead of beating each other up, they drop ecstasy and lick vaginas. The big thing missing is this film is that “Tyler Durden” doesn’t have the cool Fight Club catch phases. Then again, I could have missed them – I’m not a lesbian ballerina, I wouldn’t have picked up on them.

The biggest controversy of late surrounding this film concerns Natalie Portman’s body double.  The big question is if Natalie Portman did her own dancing in the movie. Mila Kunis responded to these allegations by saying “Natalie danced her ass off”. No one has questioned if the two actresses use body doubles in there sex scene – it is Mila and Natalie going at it like pros.

So all and all, I would skip this flick. The only thing that could make this film worse is if the movie centered around construction workers instead of ballerinas. God knows none of us would have wanted to see Ellen DeGeneres and Rosie O’Donnell in this role. The thought of either of those two masturbating or having sex sends shivers down my spine.

So for your enjoyment I grabbed a few screencaps from the DVD. If  you pickup the Blu ray or DVD – make sure have you finger on the fast forward button.