We’ve all seen them. Sitting next to liquor store cash registers or in your co-worker’s desk drawer. Little plastic sacks of booze. Laden with cartoonish logos, encouraging marketing slogans, and lowest common denominator liquid. Portable shots seem to be a category designed for nothing but despair and the desperate. Those who’s pockets are lined with neither money nor good taste. No longer.
Stone Brewing Co. is proud to announce the release of BastardSHOTZ Gel Pakz, perfect for the Bastard on-the-go who wants to upgrade to first class. Oozing all the flavor and alcohol of a 22 oz. serving of Arrogant Bastard Ale, reduced to a classy, airport-friendly 3-ounce pocket pouch. Designed for connoisseurs with an abundance of taste and a dearth of time, BastardSHOTZ brings sorely needed panache to the pouch-based booze business.
BastardSHOTZ were born in a stroke of molecular gastronomical genius inside the kitchen of our world renowned restaurant. Inspired by his experiments with sous vide cooking and our brewery’s centrifuge, Executive Chef Alex Carballo worked with our brewing team on this formerly top-secret project, resulting in a collaborative breakthrough between brewer and chef.
The process pioneered by the chef/brewer team involves ultrasound, a centrifuge and liquid nitrogen, but details remain classified. What’s not at all a secret is that the thick brown gel of BastardSHOTZ, when spread liberally over wild acorn-fed Jamón ibérico de bellota, is an outstanding pairing beverage gel. This rare and premium Spanish ham practically begs for the rich, viscous mouthfeel and the classic Arrogant Bastard intense hop and malt overtones.
To help those Bastards with discerning palates boast to the world at large, we have a parallel release of the BastardSHOTZ iPhone and Android app. The iBastard WebSHOTZ app automatically updates 33 social media platforms with geolocated consumption data, ensuring that you’ll never drink BastardSHOTZ without alerting the world. This level of synergy between packaging, technology and consumer is an exhilarating experience that, until now, has never been achieved in the industry.
Look for this game-changing product nationwide* at checkout counters this April when we roll out this exciting new product. For more information, please view the exclusive BastardSHOTZ video, “I am a Pouch Brewer.” BastardSHOTZ are intended to be consumed responsibly by adults of legal drinking age, numbskull.
*TEXAS EXCLUDED
