Bunny Ranch Brothel Owner Appeals To Justin Bieber To Stop Taking Sexual Risks

Upon hearing reports that Justin Bieber was seen leaving a Brazilian brothel while on tour, Bunny Ranch legal brothel owner and star of HBO’s “Cathouse” Dennis Hof is making a public appeal to him to stop risking his health and instead spend time with the ladies of his seven legal brothels in Nevada.

“I was shocked to hear that Justin might have put his health and safety at risk in a Brazilian brothel” Hof exclaimed. “For starters, while prostitution itself is legal in Brazil, brothels are not. He could’ve been arrested and subjected to the Brazilian justice system, which might not have been favorable to him. Secondly, condom use with Brazilian prostitutes is voluntary and unregulated, with an estimated 6% of them being HIV positive. Worst of all, Brazil has a rampant child sex trafficking problem, second only to that of Thailand. Being caught with an underage prostitute could’ve killed this young man’s career.”

Hof is quick to note that at The Bunny Ranch, none of these things are a factor. “Licensed prostitution in Nevada is safe and regulated. Girls are licensed as prostitutes through their county’s sheriff’s department, and they must have a clean criminal record in order to be granted one. They are tested for sexually transmitted diseases and examined weekly by a doctor who reports to the county health department. As a result, there has never been one case of HIV throughout the entire history of legalized prostitution in Nevada. Obviously because every girl is licensed, it would be impossible for my brothels to employ anyone under age. Every one of the perils that Justin Bieber reportedly risked on foreign soil would’ve been non factors for him in the good ol’ USA.”

Dennis is also aware of Bieber’s need for discretion, noting that anonymity is guaranteed at The Bunny Ranch. “We have celebrities and politicians in and out of here on a weekly basis, and you don’t hear about any of them being spotted by paparazzi. We have private and discreet entrances for them, and we never have to wrap any of them in bed sheets.”

Hof is inviting Bieber to visit The Bunny Ranch as his guest, asking Justin to adopt the mantra “Be a Belieber in safe sex”.