The Low Down
The word “surprised” rarely comes to mind when reviewing gentlemen’s clubs. When you’re in a particular area, you generally know what to expect when you visit a club: big cities like Las Vegas have the mega-clubs, most major cities like Philadelphia and New York have smaller upscale clubs in their financial districts and “downtown” areas and the suburbs have your divey, neighborhood bar-like clubs. Creekside Cabaret blows away those stereotypes in a profound an amazing way, by offering a Vegas-sized mega club in what, at first glance, appears to be just a simple suburban office park! As with all of my gentlemen’s club reviews, I judge on a scale of one to five, with five being the best possible score.
Location & Facilities – 4.5 Stars
I arrived at Creekside Cabaret, a topless gentlemen’s club located in Montgomery County, PA, at around 5:30pm on a Friday afternoon. While the sewage treatment plant a block away may seem odd and left me slightly concerned as I drove up to this warehouse-turned-club, I was certainly not expecting a massive two-story club, complete with a huge main stage with three poles and a large bar with a giant projection screen behind it as well as tons of seating. Smoking is permitted and safety is a taken very seriously, as the club uses handheld metal detectors and cell phone use isn’t permitted on the dance floor (but is in the bathrooms and hallway) for the protection of the dancers. My only real complaint about the facilities was their men’s room. Despite being spacious and clean, the wood paneling on the walls has got to go as it seriously clashes with the modern décor of the rest of the club.
Staff – 5 Stars
The staff at Creekside Cabaret really provides the A+ experience that you’d expect to find at some of the higher-end big city clubs. Bartender Grace and hostess Megan provided amazing service, and manager Vinny went out of his way to give me a tour of the VIP area and provide me with party package information. I would have to say the most amazing member of their staff was their DJ, who was spinning some awesome electronic dance music selections and remixes including “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey remixed with Avicii’s “Levels.”
Food & Drink – 4 Stars
The club offers a wide variety of beer and alcoholic beverage options, including Boddington’s, Amstel Light, Stella Artois, Twisted Tea, Angry Orchard, Blue Moon as well as many other domestic and imported beer options, including IPA’s for us craft beer lovers. The main bar also features a large selection of top-shelf alcoholic beverages. You’ll also find a variety of cigar options behind the main bar. The only downside I encountered was that the kitchen was closed for renovations, which means that you’ll have to make sure to eat before you arrive at the club or plan to grab a bite after if you desire.
Dancers – 4.5 Stars
While I was told that the evenings at Creekside Cabaret get pretty packed, there were only a handful of dancers for the handful of customers during the Friday happy hour. The club certainly doesn’t hold back when it comes to providing entertainment, as adult film star Aspen Reign will be appearing at the club in July 2015 and the club hosts “amateur night” the first Wednesday of the month with a $500 first prize to the best “girl next door” type dancer. During my two visits to the club, I had the pleasure of being entertained by Lola, a sexy young dancer with tattoos and shaved sides of her head (which, if you read my reviews, you know I go for the punk/goth and tattooed look) as well as Dakota, a cheerful, fun dancer with an amazing body and even more amazing moves on the pole.
Value – 5 Stars
Creekside Cabaret goes out of its way to provide value to its customers, with happy hour specials from 4:00pm to 6:00pm Tuesday through Saturday of select $2.00 domestic and $3.00 import beers as well as $3.00 mixed drinks. Couch dances are $20.00 for one song or $40.00 nude, and the champagne court prices start at $195.00 for a half hour.
Website & Social Media – 5 Stars
At CreeksideCabaret.com you’ll find all of the necessary information to plan out and spend an awesome evening at the club, including information on upcoming events, drink specials, bottle service, party packages and even a photo gallery to see what all of the excitement is about. Their website also includes links to their Facebook and Twitter pages.
Whoever said “it’s what’s on the inside that matters” was clearly referring to Creekside Cabaret, an exciting, upscale gentlemen’s club experience where you might least expect to find it!
3225 Advance Lane, Hatfield, PA 18915
Hours: 4:00pm to 2:00am Tue to Sat
C.J. Asher is a sex and adult entertainment blogger who has interviewed celebrities such as Dennis Hof, owner of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch, BurningAngel.com owner, director, writer and actress Joanna Angel as well as a sugar baby advisor, burlesque dancer, feminist and many others. His blog, CJAsher.com, also review gentlemen’s clubs nationwide and posts a weekly adult entertainment calendar highlighting adult film star appearances. Follow C.J. on Twitter @CJASHEROFFICIAL