The Low Down
Penthouse Club New Orleans was the first gentlemen’s club I had the opportunity to visit during my recent trip to the 2015 Gentlemen’s Club Expo in New Orleans, and set the bar at a level that few of the gentlemen’s clubs on Bourbon Street can match. I arrived at the club at 7:30pm on a Monday night; not my typical day and time for reviews, but I had to work around my travel itinerary. As with all of my gentlemen’s clubs reviews, I’ve rated the club on a scale of one to five stars, with five stars being the best. Before we get started, I did have the chance to review quite a number of gentlemen’s clubs in New Orleans during my trip, and there are a few things you should be aware of before you head out to the Bourbon Street gentlemen’s club scene:
New Orleans Club Rule #1: Stick With The Name Brands!
While the name brand clubs, such as Penthouse, Hustler and Déjà Vu may be the more upscale and pricier options, the quality of your experience will usually be much better here than the little hole-in-the-wall clubs on Bourbon Street. The name brand club parent companies have put a ton of money into giving “Vegas-class style” to the older historic properties on Bourbon Street. Despite the name brand stigma, drink prices are usually the same and you can often still enjoy yourself on a conservative budget.
New Orleans Club Rule #2: Be Careful On Bourbon Street!
While this could be said for any gentlemen’s club, be careful of your surrounding on your way to, while on and leaving Bourbon Street. With a high crime rate and excessive outside drinking, Bourbon Street can get a little sketchy, especially in the evening, so it’s best not to wander around by yourself and arrange your transportation in advance.
Location & Facilities – 5 Stars
Penthouse Club New Orleans, a topless club, is located in the French Quarter half a block east of Bourbon Street but still in the center of all of the action. While there isn’t dedicated parking for the club, there likewise isn’t dedicated parking for the plethora of bars, restaurants and shops in the area. Your best bet for getting to and from the club is taxi, bike taxi or Uber. Immediately upon entering the club, you’ll notice the well-appointed interior, which features elegant chandeliers and a modern club feel that caters to an upscale clientele. The first floor has two main dancer poles as well as three spacious bars, along with plenty of seating around the bars and the pole stages for you and your friends.
Staff – 4.5 Stars
As you’ll find in the gentlemen’s club scenes in New York and Las Vegas, Penthouse Club New Orleans has a number of floor managers who will greet you and assist you with any questions you may have. Blaine, one of the managers on duty when I arrived, was kind enough to provide me with a tour of the club. Nico, the “world’s greatest barback,” did an awesome job helping out with tending bar the evening of my visit while handling the incredible number of attendees from the Gentlemen’s Club Expo.
Food & Drink – 5 Stars
As with many of the high-end gentlemen’s clubs, Penthouse Club offers a fully stocked bar with plenty of top-shelf liquor options as well as variety of domestic and imported beers. I ordered a Malibu and pineapple that cost me $12.00; standard pricing for a mixed drink in the area. Thanks again for my adorable waitress Kylie for the great service despite the large crowd that evening! The only downside (and this goes for all of the Bourbon Street gentlemen’s clubs) is that food isn’t served, but with all of the local dining options a few feet away on Bourbon Street this definitely isn’t a problem.
Dancers – 4 Stars
During my trip to the club, I found the dancers, while beautiful and friendly, were mostly younger brunette Caucasian girls… in other words, if you’re looking for more ethnic diversity or girls with tattoos, this won’t be the club for you. Fortunately, I did have a great opportunity to spend some time with Reagan, an adorably cute dancer from Mississippi with a toned body and pierced nipples.
Value – 5 Stars
While Penthouse Club New Orleans may be one of the pricier clubs on Bourbon Street, this club offers excellent value for your experience. First of all, be sure to sign up for a complimentary admission coupon at PenthouseClubNewOrleans.combefore you go. Open couch dances are $20.00 for one song, but for $40.00 per song you can enjoy a private dance in one of their booths on the second floor. VIP rooms start at 20 minutes for $125.00 and are also available for 30 minutes for $250.00 (in a skybox overlooking the main floor) and 60 minutes for $375.00. Be sure to bring cash, as using your credit card will cost you an extra 25% on top of those prices. For the ultimate in luxury, check out one of their six Executive Suites, which offers a private pole, couches, flat screen TV and sound control.
Website & Social Media – 5 Stars
PenthouseClubNewOrleans.com has all of the information you’ll need to plan out your trip the club, but seems specifically geared to highlight the group and party options, such as bachelor parties, bottle service and club events, that a club located in one of the party capitals of the country will need to offer. Their website also has links to their Facebook and Twitter accounts for the most current club information and happenings.
In Brief…
In a rather eclectic French Quarter gentlemen’s club scene that ranges from dumpy to elegant, Penthouse Club New Orleans is one of the all-around best experiences you’ll find: quality service, reasonable prices and gorgeous dancers!
C.J. Asher is a sex and adult entertainment blogger who has interviewed celebrities such as Dennis Hof, owner of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch, BurningAngel.com owner, director, writer and actress Joanna Angel as well as a sugar baby advisor, burlesque dancer, feminist and many others. His blog, CJAsher.com, also review gentlemen’s clubs nationwide and posts a weekly adult entertainment calendar highlighting adult film star appearances. Follow C.J. on Twitter @CJASHEROFFICIAL
