The Low Down
I have been to some amazing gentlemen’s clubs in my day: the massive Tootsie’s Cabaret in Miami Gardens, Club Risqué and its plethora of amenities in Philadelphia and the world’s largest gentlemen’s club, Sapphire Las Vegas, complete with dayclub and pool. But nothing, NOTHING, prepared me for the incredible experience that I had at Larry Flynt’s Hustler Barely Legal Club in New Orleans. Sexy young “barely legal” dancers? They have them… lots of them, with a variety of looks and a nerdy flair (Batman panties, anyone?) that no gentleman could resist. Combine that with incredible customer service, interior décor that is upscale yet true to its ‘Nawlins roots, VIP rooms with imaginative themes and a “wacky” party menu that will let you do everything from having the staff refer to you as “Master” for $100 to managing the club for a day for $25,000 and you have one of my greatest gentlemen’s club experiences of all time. As with all of my gentlemen’s clubs reviews, I’ve rated the club on a scale of one to five stars, with five being the best possible rating. Before we get started, I did have the chance to review quite a number of gentlemen’s clubs during my trip to New Orleans, and there are a few things you should be aware of before you head out to the Bourbon Street gentlemen’s club scene:
New Orleans Club Rule #1: Stick With The Name Brands!
While the name brand clubs, such as Penthouse, Hustler and Déjà Vu, may be the more upscale and pricier options, the quality of your experience will usually be much better here than the little hole-in-the-wall clubs on Bourbon Street. The name brand club parent companies have put a ton of money into giving “Vegas-class style” to the older historic properties on Bourbon Street. Despite the name brand stigma, however, drink prices are usually the same and you can still enjoy yourself on a conservative budget.
New Orleans Club Rule #2: Be Careful On Bourbon Street!
While this could be said for any gentlemen’s club, be careful of your surrounding on your way to, while on and leaving Bourbon Street. With a high crime rate and excessive outside drinking, Bourbon Street can get a little sketchy, especially in the late evening, so it’s best not to wander around by yourself and arrange your transportation in advance.
Location & Facilities – 5 Stars
Barely Legal is located on the famous Bourbon Street in the French Quarter, amidst the plethora of Cajun restaurants and shops that line the partygoer-filled street. Parking is available close by, but to avoid the mainstream traffic (and so you can imbibe without worrying about your ride home), your best course of action is to take a taxi, pedi-bike or Uber to and from the club. I arrived at 11:45pm on a Monday evening to find a busy (but not packed) club with plenty of dancers for some fun company. Upon entering, I was immediately impressed by the two-story club, with poles and bars on both floors and VIP rooms located on the second floor, along with multiple flat screen televisions around to catch the latest sports action. While most of the gentlemen’s clubs on Bourbon Street have either been completely remodeled or retain their original dated but nostalgic interiors, Barely Legal is a modern club that keeps true to its roots with Mardi Gras-themed decorations throughout.
Staff – 5 Stars
By nature, the floor staff at any gentlemen’s club are trained to be respectful, courteous and friendly, but club manager Russell oversees a staff that goes above and beyond to provide first class treatment to all of Barely Legal’s guests. Floor managers Jamie and Ben were some of the nicest staff I’ve come across while visiting gentlemen’s clubs, with Ben taking time out to give me a complete tour of the VIP room options and their amenities. Bartender Kelsey and waitresses Laken and Justine didn’t fail to impress with their friendly, outgoing attitudes, something difficult to find in many gentlemen’s clubs where the main focus is the dancing talent and not the bartenders or waitresses.
Food & Drink – 5 Stars
Barely Legal offers a fully stocked bar with a wide variety to satisfy any liquor indulgence, including many beer and mixed drink options under ten dollars and champagne splits for twenty dollars. While the drink prices are very reasonable, Barely Legal also caters to the more affluent partygoer by offering numerous bottle service options, with Dom Perignon Rose and Ace by Armand De Brignac available for $2,400 a bottle and, for the ultimate in luxury, a bottle of Krug Clos d’Ambonnay for $12,000. The only downside is that Barely Legal doesn’t offer food (a law that applies to all New Orleans gentlemen’s clubs), but with all of the amazing dining options just a few doors away you won’t need to worry about missing dinner or satisfying your late night munchies.
Dancers – 5 Stars
Barely Legal’s dancers are an eclectic mix of mostly younger entertainers with many different ethnicities and some sporting sexy tattoos; the club caters to pretty much every possible taste in entertainer that a potential customer could have. The one thing that sets Barely Legal apart is their embracing of the “cosplay” and “comic con” phenomenon, with one dancer, Jynx, sporting Batman panties, another dancer with a TARDIS purse and another performing her stage routine with a Lightsaber in hand. No matter how old you are, you’ll definitely feel like a twenty-something again after a short time spent in Barely Legal. Andy Superstar, an amazing brunette dancer with nose piercings and sexy spider tattoos was not only the highlight of my visit to the club, but also my entire New Orleans trip, having a fun, flirty and adventurous personality that is rare to find in many dancers.
Value – 5 Stars
Without going into all of the various pricing options, Barely Legal offers dances that range from ten to thirty dollars and VIP rooms which start at a few hundred dollars and include a bottle of champagne. What sets this club apart from many others is that it offers great specials and fun themes to attract patrons during the slower club nights: Superhero Sundays with five dollar superhero drinks specials and themed “blue light special” dances, Military Mondays with complimentary VIP (with military ID), 2-4-1 (cover, bottles and VIP drinks) Tuesdays, a $500 “Babe Search” contest on Wednesdays and Throwback Thursdays featuring music from the 60’s to the 90’s.
Website & Social Media – 5 Stars
Being part of the Larry Flynt’s Hustler chain of gentlemen’s clubs, it’s no surprise that BarelyLegalNOLA.com is a modern website with event information, gallery, videos and party package information along with links to their Facebook and Twitter social media pages for the most up-to-the-minute club news and information.
In Brief…
Larry Flynt’s Hustler Barely Legal Club should be your first, last and only gentlemen’s club stop in New Orleans. This club has the staff, value, amenities and commitment to customer service that is hard to find at even the most upscale gentlemen’s clubs.
Larry Flynt’s Hustler Barely Legal Club (New Orleans, LA)
423 Bourbon Street, New Orleans, LA 70130
(504) 571-6340
Hours: 12:00pm to Close, Seven Days A Week
C.J. Asher is a sex and adult entertainment blogger who has interviewed celebrities such as Dennis Hof, owner of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch, BurningAngel.com owner, director, writer and actress Joanna Angel as well as a sugar baby advisor, burlesque dancer, feminist and many others. His blog, CJAsher.com, also review gentlemen’s clubs nationwide and posts a weekly adult entertainment calendar highlighting adult film star appearances. Follow C.J. on Twitter @CJASHEROFFICIAL
