Moron of the week

[Hooch]

I'm thinking this is the first TMR reality series

[Securb]

German police are investigating a man for theft after he siphoned electricity off a high-voltage overhead transmission line for one month with the help of an ordinary meat hook, authorities said on Tuesday.

The 36-year old man from Sibbesse in Lower Saxony concocted the plan to steal electricity after the power company cut him off for failure to pay his bills, police said.

The man attached a cable to the meat hook and tossed it onto an overhead power line. He then drew power from the transmission line to his home, located about 150 meters away.

"I've never seen anything like this in my 34-year-career," said Friedrich-Wilhelm Lach, chief executive of regional utility Ueberlandwerke Leinetal GmbH, told Reuters. "It's incredibly dangerous and utterly stupid."

An employee of the utility noticed the meat hook during a routine check. Lach said the man was lucky he is still alive and warned copycats not to try it: "It will kill you," he said.

[Securb]

An unruly passenger who banged on the cockpit door of a SkyWest flight and claimed he was a space alien was arrested after the plane made an emergency landing Sunday in Idaho Falls.

Delta Connection Flight 4620 was en route from Helena, Mont., to Salt Lake City when a passenger got up and approached the cockpit, said SkyWest spokeswoman Marissa Snow.

"Reports from our crew say he actually started banging on the flight deck door," she said.

Snow did not have any other information to release Monday, including whether the man said anything while banging on the door. But Pocatello TV station KPVI reported he told flight attendants he was a space alien and wanted to fly the plane.

Flight attendants and other passengers were able to get the man back in his seat while the pilots diverted to Idaho Falls. The plane landed just after 6 p.m. Sunday, when authorities took the man into custody, she said.

The plane resumed its flight and arrived in Salt Lake City at 7:15 p.m. There were about 50 passengers on the plane. KPVI reported the man arrested was Matthew Kleindorfer, 32, of Las Vegas.

[3dR3]

An unruly passenger who banged on the cockpit door of a SkyWest flight and claimed he was a space alien was arrested after the plane made an emergency landing Sunday in Idaho Falls.

Delta Connection Flight 4620 was en route from Helena, Mont., to Salt Lake City when a passenger got up and approached the cockpit, said SkyWest spokeswoman Marissa Snow.

"Reports from our crew say he actually started banging on the flight deck door," she said.

Snow did not have any other information to release Monday, including whether the man said anything while banging on the door. But Pocatello TV station KPVI reported he told flight attendants he was a space alien and wanted to fly the plane.

Flight attendants and other passengers were able to get the man back in his seat while the pilots diverted to Idaho Falls. The plane landed just after 6 p.m. Sunday, when authorities took the man into custody, she said.

The plane resumed its flight and arrived in Salt Lake City at 7:15 p.m. There were about 50 passengers on the plane. KPVI reported the man arrested was Matthew Kleindorfer, 32, of Las Vegas.

whatever happened to the good old days?

Alan Garner: Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? It's not gambling when you know you're gonna win. Counting cards is a foolproof system.
Stu Price: It's also illegal.
Alan Garner: It's not illegal. It's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane.
Phil Wenneck: I'm pretty sure that's illegal too.
Alan Garner: Yeah, maybe after 9/11, where everybody got so sensitive. Thanks a lot, bin Laden.

[Speng]

Man accused of driving drunk, stabbing pigs

http://www.kare11.com/news/news_article....yid=849555

FAIRMONT, Minn.-- A southern Minnesota man faces a laundry list of criminal charges in a bizarre incident that ended with 29 pigs having to be destroyed.

Early the morning of April 27th, a truck driver picking up hogs at a farm just south of Truman noticed a man running from one of the pig barns. That driver called sheriff's deputies, who came and arrested 23 year old Curtis Lee Adams for DWI. Adams had gotten his truck stuck in the mud after drinking at an area bar, and told deputies he had gone into the barn to ask for help.

The next morning, authorities received a call from the farm owner saying that a number of his pigs were bleeding and hurt, and appeared to have been stabbed. When they drove to the farm, they found Adams nearby trying to get his truck out of the mud. His clothes and shoes were covered in dried blood.

Investigators later found a knife with a 3 inch blade in the grass outside the barn that Adams admitted was his. The suspect told deputies that he didn't remember a thing about being in the barn or doing anything to harm the pigs. They took a picture of Adams and showed it to the truck driver who had called 9-1-1 the night before: That man identified Adams as the man he had seen running from the barn.

The pigs that were stabbed had been slated for slaughter. They had to be destroyed because they were were suffering, and because their flesh may have been contaminated by the knife blade. The pigs alone had a value of more than $7k, and the farm owner had to pay veterinarians to euthanize the pigs humanely.

Adams faces felony charges of third-degree burglary and first-degree criminal damage to property. Each charge carries a potential penalty of five years in prison and a $10,000 fine.

A charge of second-degree cruelty to animals is considered a gross misdemeanor, with a maximum penalty of a year in jail and a $3,000 fine.

[Securb]

A 41-year-old Gardnerville woman, intoxicated and topless, was hospitalized Monday after she reportedly stole a bottle of wine from a Gardnerville grocery store and nearly drove into a fast food restaurant in the midst of a raging snow squall.

According to witnesses, a woman identified as Brandi Smith, was driving erratically before pulling into the parking lot at Scolari's grocery store.

Smith, naked from the waist up, entered Scolari's and left without paying for a $20 bottle of wine. The store provided video footage of Smith.

One of the clerks said he confronted her about her lack of clothing and said, “She just walked right past me,” without acknowledging him and left the store.

[3dR3]

by the looks of her face i'm guessing her nipples are even with her belly button..

[Speng]

School bus driver suspended, accused of using plastic bags on bus as a bathroom

http://www.fox6now.com/news/witi-100517-...2216.story

WITI-TV, MILWAUKEE - FOX6 News has learned the school bus driver accused of using plastic bags as a bathroom on her bus is now indefinitely suspended. That woman was driving for Milwaukee Public Schools. Per the district's contract with First Student bus company, MPS has demanded the driver not have any contact with kids.

Neighbors first showed FOX6 where the driver allegedly was dropping off bags filled with her own waste. It was near I-94 and 60th St. One of the neighbors actually caught on camera, the driver in the act of using the bags as a bathroom. A second tape and another witness backs up the acts.

One of the neighbors said, "She took down her pants and turned around and did something you'd probably never do on a bus... The bus would stop right here by the curb, once in a while by the telephone pole."

The video that neighbor shot shows the driver flicking a cigarette out of the bus, driving down one block and then dumping her own waste along the street.

The neighbor took his tape to the police. Police called the owner of the bus First Student. A spokeswoman says the driver is one of their most experienced. Again, she has been indefinitely suspended.

[Securb]

Police say four teenagers trying to hold their breath for the time it takes to drive through an upstate New York hamlet were hurt when the driver fainted. Authorities say three 19-year-old men and a 16-year-old boy were traveling together late Monday night when they decided to try to hold their breath while riding through Garbutt, a rural Rochester-area hamlet that’s just three-tenths of a mile long.
Monroe County sheriff’s deputies say 19-year-old Bryan Parslow of Caledonia fainted while driving and his car hit a boulder.

All four teens were treated at a hospital and released. Parslow was ticketed for failing to stay in his lane. He’s a paraplegic who was paralyzed in 2008 after falling out of a window in Brockport while attending college

[Securb]

The Hawks arrested four people implicated in a 419 scam at the weekend after they allegedly held a US woman hostage for nearly a month, an official said on Monday.

"Police believe the four lured the US citizen with a promise that she had won $1.06m (R8m)," Hawks spokesperson Musa Zondi said.

The gang started scamming her last year and fleeced $60 000 from her between April and July.

"After July, the communication went cold until they approached her again in April this year."

She was told to come to South Africa in person to claim her prize and bring $2 000.

Taken hostage

"She duly came and on arrival on April 15 they took her hostage from the airport and kept her in a house Albertsdal, Alberton for well over a month. She was fed once a day while in captivity."

The woman managed to free herself on May 22 after breaking the window of the room where she was kept hostage.

She sought help from the neighbours who contacted the police.

"Intensive investigations were conducted by the Johannesburg Hawks unit working alongside crime intelligence colleagues," said Zondi.

The four people - three Nigerians and a South African woman - were arrested on Saturday.

They were due to appear in the Johannesburg Magistrate's Court on Monday.

The US woman has since returned home.