Moron of the week

[Securb]

MADISON, Wis. (AP) – Police say a California woman was cited after climbing into the giraffe exhibit at a Madison zoo and getting kicked in the face.

A police report says 24-year-old Amada Hall, of San Luis Obispo, California, climbed over one fence and almost got over the second fence encircling the giraffe enclosure at the Henry Vilas Zoo about 5:30 p.m. Saturday. A 2-year-old, 12-foot-tall giraffe named Wally gave Hall a lick, then turned and kicked her in the face.

Zoo staff told police that giraffe’s are capable of killing lions, so the woman was fortunate that her injuries were not life threatening.
Police ticketed Hall for harassment of zoo animals, which has a fine of $686.
The police report says she told officers she climbed into the exhibit because she loves giraffes.

[Securb]

A would-be prankster died after he slipped out of the front seat after he opened the van door after telling his fellow passengers 'watch this.'

Wayne Rowlands, 27, is believed to have fallen from the moving Ford Transit van, which was travelling at about 40mph, after slipping from the edge of his seat.

Seconds earlier the bricklayer and amateur footballer said to his friends 'watch this for a prank boys.'

An inquest into his death heard that Mr Rowlands, of Llanrhyddlad, Anglesey, suffered a severe brain injury after rolling into the road.

[GoldenVulture]

A Darwin award candidate.

[johnjohn]

Just be glad he didn't breed with giraffe girl first.

[CTN]

LOL where did he think he was gonna go?

his inner monologue must've been something like:
"Oh boy, the truck is moving pretty fast, perhaps I can step out of the front door and land on magical happiness cloud that I can ride like a skateboard! Whoopee!!"

[GoldenVulture]

A couple of years ago there was a teenage girl in town here who had an argument with her sister, in the car. She decided to get out while it was moving. It didn't kill her but she wasn't very well for quite some time.

[youngthrasher9]

A couple of years ago there was a teenage girl in town here who had an argument with her sister, in the car. She decided to get out while it was moving. It didn't kill her but she wasn't very well for quite some time.

Someone I knew did that, except she was arguing with her husband. She hit her head and died a couple days later.

[Securb]

Loveland police officers said they found the ambulance in the middle of Highway 34 with several doors open, heavy front-end damage and fluid leaking.

One officer said it appeared the driver of the ambulance had hit the raised median, jumped the curb, hit a sign, went the wrong way and crossed back over the median before stopping.

Officers said they found 18-year-old Stefan Sortland standing about 30 yards from the stopped ambulance wearing an EMT vest. Officers shot him with a stun gun when he refused their commands. Sortland had a blanket, a cell phone and a box of Wheat Thins with him.
After eventually subduing the 18-year-old, the cops took him back to the station, where more hijinks ensued:

Sortland was taken to the Loveland Police Department.

There he "stood on a bench, kicked the wall, and masturbated," according to the police report.

Police said during his interview with officers, Sortland made a reference that his "friends/roommates were dead, in heaven, and had committed suicide."
Somebody find that kid a better dealer. That was some bad molly.

[Securb]

Bah, humbug!

A passenger was tossed off a plane at La Guardia Airport on Tuesday after flipping out — because airline workers wished him a merry Christmas.
The man was waiting to board American Airlines Flight 1140 to Dallas when a cheerful gate agent began welcoming everyone with the Yuletide greeting while checking boarding passes.

The grumpy passenger, who appeared to be traveling alone, barked at the woman, “You shouldn’t say that because not everyone celebrates Christmas.”
The agent replied, “Well, what should I say then?”“Don’t say, ‘Merry Christmas!’ ” the man shouted before brushing past her.

Once on the plane, he was warmly greeted by a flight attendant who also wished him a “merry Christmas.” That was the last straw.

“Don’t say, ‘Merry Christmas!’ ” the man raged before lecturing the attendants and the pilot about their faux pas.

The crew tried to calm the unidentified man, but he refused to back down and continued hectoring them.

He was escorted off the plane as other fliers burst into cheers and applause.
American Airlines did not return a request for comment.

[LesStrat]

Sheesh. Now he'll blame the airline for ruining his Christmas. Lol