Moron of the week

[Speng]

Cripes, that has my stories beat.

[LesStrat]

I was selling an old set of golf clubs on CL. I was contacted by some guy that had all sorts of questions, then acted like the clubs were high quality enough for him.

I was asking $35 and throwing in the ratty old bag.

Thankfully a teenager that was taking up golf bought them last week.

[Securb]

A Detroit-area man in a long-distance relationship with a bank teller in Illinois drove to her place of employment on Valentine's Day, robbed it — unkbeknonwst to her — and planned to use the cash for an engagement ring. Instead, he's headed to prison.

Troy resident Ramsey Fakhouri met his girlfriend in Bible college, according to the AP. He wanted to marry her, but couldn't afford a ring. Realizing she worked at a bank, he let a friend listen in on a conversation on how the ATM machines at her branch are stocked.

Fakhouri and his accomplice then put their plan in motion on February 14.

[Dr. Vegetable]

"You know, it actually can happen. I mean, the chances of it happening are very rare, but it can happen actually. Which is crazy. Not that it—the chances of it are, like, you know, it's like probably ‘pigs could fly.' Like, I don't think pigs could fly, but actually sharks could be stuck in tornados. There could be a sharknado."

http://www.gq.com/blogs/the-feed/2014/07...-tips.html

[johnjohn]

Here's future leadership material right here:

http://latest.com/2014/06/duh-dumb-pothe...-arrested/

[Dr. Vegetable]

Here's future leadership material right here:

http://latest.com/2014/06/duh-dumb-pothe...-arrested/

[Securb]

Maryland authorities said Tuesday they will charge a man with disorderly conduct in a cemetery for allegedly urinating on the grave of former Baltimore Ravens owner Art Modell.

The man, who so far has been identified only as a Cleveland Browns fan, could face up to two years in jail and a $500 fine. He posted a video of the incident to YouTube this month.

''Everyone who has buried a loved one has the right to believe that their final resting place will be treated with respect,'' Baltimore County State's Attorney Scott Shellenberger said in a written statement. ''Bringing charges against this individual should act as a deterrent to others and assure the rest of us that no matter who you are, indecencies will not be committed against your final resting place.''

Shellenberger said the man will not be identified until charges are filed and served. You can see him in the video below:

[Speng]

I'm glad video cameras were huge back when I was doing all kinds of stupid, illegal stuff. I would have incriminated myself all the time.

[Securb]

Police in Ocala, Fla., are searching for a woman who used a stolen American Express credit card after a suspicious store clerk snapped a photo of her posing with it, reports the Smoking Gun. The shopper charged more than $400 worth of items from Lookin’ Good Beauty Supply, but she couldn’t produce any government-issued ID to prove she was the person listed on the card. The cheerful consumer agreed to the clerk’s request for a picture of her with her plastic, which also had been used to make purchases at Family Dollar and Citgo.

"I thought that would scare her into saying I don't want this anymore, but she smiled for it," the clerk tells WKMG. Police say they've gotten several tips since releasing the photo to the public, but haven't made an arrest yet. The card actually belongs to an elderly woman who says it was stolen while she was shopping at Walmart. In the photo, the alleged thief also appears to be holding the wallet that was stolen along with the credit card, reports the Ocala Star-Banner.

[Speng]

Some douche emails me about an item I'm selling on Craigslist, "If you cover shipping, I'll give you $20." He lives a few hours away. I check the price I have it listed at, it's $20. Why the Hell would I sell it for $20 and lose half the money in shipping costs?

I told him I'd gladly ship the item if he paid for shipping. His response...."no thanks".

Pound sand assbag.