Being a parent the thought of another World War not only worries me, it frightens me. In our new conflicts, as sabers rattle around the globe, I hear an under-rumbling in the clatter of the swords. This is the rumbling of impending nuclear war.
North Korea has been thumbing their noses at U.N. Inspectors for a decade. During this decade of playing cat and mouse, Korea has become a Nuclear power. Our past president could not pronounce the word “nuclear” so how could we expect him to keep us safe from it’s threat.
It took billions of dollars and the most advanced surveillance equipment for George Bush to find Saddam Hussein. We were successful extracting Saddam from his rathole but never found his weapons of mass destruction.
In the case of Kim Jong-il there is no guessing. We know he has weapons of mass destruction, he is firing them off almost daily. Next he wants to test a rocket that can reach the United States. Doesn’t this worry anyone?
Let’s not wait to capture him like we did Saddam. Let’s act now while he is still in the public eye. We can easily track down Kim Jong-il via his Twitter page. Yes the leader of the cornerstone of the Axis of Evil tweets.
On May 30th Kim Jong-il tweeted: “All Party People are hereby summoned to KJL’s Dandong Pleasure Palace 2nite. The roof will erupt in the glorious flames of class struggle!!!” This was a perfect opportunity for us to capture this vicious dictator and the U.S. Government let it slip right through their hands. To make matters worse the roof did erupt in flames on the night in mention.
It is reported that party members could be heard for miles screaming “the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire.” To which the cold-hearted tyrant smugly replied “We don’t need no water let the motherfucker burn. Burn motherfucker, burn..” This psychopath has no respect for life or property.
The twitter page also hints that Kim Jong-il may be trying to alter his appearance. His May 29th tweet suggests an attempt to drop some weight. The portly totalitarian writes “U.N. Security Council threatening to add Nutri System to the embargo. Stocking up on Cinnamon Bun Bars.” He again tilts his hand just yesterday tweeting “Thighmaster just arrived. These buns are going to look like two ripe melons in a sack for pool season.”
Before this guy totally alters his appearance disappears and puts Sham-Wow pitchman Vince Offer in the seat of power, we need to grab him. It won’t be too hard to find him, take a look for yourself.