John Mayer Eats Kittens (But Only The White Ones!)

john-mayer kittenJohnny boy has been all over the news this week. It seems that the cooler than cool guitarist has no verbal filter. The conduit from what appears to be a sub-par brain to his mouth has given us some gems this week.

The big news is John Mayer doesn’t find black women attractive. He could have made that comment and stopped at that fact. He could have qualified the statement with the fact that he prefers blonds. But no Johnny Boy had to continue down the track and say the exception to the rule was Hillary from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. That is because “every white boy wanted to sleep with her”

While Karyn Parsons the actress that played Hilary is beautiful she is not the most blackest of black women on the planet.

No one is expecting Johnny to jump in bed with Whoopie Goldberg or Mo’Nique, still Karyn Parsons is not National Geographic material. Sleeping with Karyn Parsons , Halley Berry or Beyonce is not exactly taking one for the “white” team.


To further complicate matters Mayer said that his penis was like a white supremacist and compared it to KKK Grand Dragon David Duke. Does this mean Mayer’s penis is shaved bald and covered in racist tattoos? I would imagine we could ask Jenifer Aniston, Jennifer Love Hewitt or Jessica Simpson what his penis looks like.

I doubt any of these women will make a comment including Simpson who Mayer recently called “sexual napalm”. Hollywood A listers would be safer hanging out with Michael Richards and Mel Gibson right now.

To make matters even worse not only did Mayer dis all black women but went on to drop the N Bomb in his interview with Playboy.

Mayer did apologize for his comments this week. With tears streaming he tried to atone for his sins. His live crying apology probably won’t be enough to get his career back on track. This guy’s career just hit the wall harder than Winter Olympics luge slider Nodar Kumaritashvili. It is really hard for anyone to come back from the N-Bomb.

The most shocking news of the week is in reference to Mayer’s sexual aptitude. It seems to keep up with this revolving door of starlets he has been bedding… John Mayer has been eating kittens. While there are many prescription medications on the market, like Viagra and Cialis, to give a guy an edge, kittens are the gold standard for sexual enhancement.

While it is not illegal to eat kittens it is frowned upon in most circles. To further complicate this matter it seems John Mayer will only eat the white kittens. John Mayer is not the first celebrity to be outed as a kitten eater by TMRzoo. Take a look at our Kitten Eater Hall of Shame