It is kind of sad if you think about it. Here I am again, writing my Superbowl column, and once again Zack, Jason and my boys are marlin fishing off the coast of Southern Florida. It is no surprise that the Fish didn’t even make the playoffs. They have had four head coaches in the past three years. Dave Wannstedt, Jim Bates, Nick Saban and now Cam Cameron. Since I have started this column three years ago, 4 friggin’ coaches!
That is a different coach for each of my Superbowl columns. Suds With Securb was kicked off on Superbowl week making this my fourth Superbowl column. Strangely enough, this is only the second time I haven’t had to report on the New England Patriots.
As I have written before, I love The Pats, but hate their fans. Pats fans are the most delusional people on the planet. I know somewhere in Boston a diehard fan is explaining how Bill Belichick intentionally lost to the Colts to better position himself in the draft. Anyone who saw the way Big Bill avoided Peyton Manning after the championship game knows the better. By watching the coach’s body language, it is also safe to say Bill doesn’t like Peyton Manning.
It is nice to know I am not the only one out there that can’t stand Peyton. In Boston these days, even Derrick Jeter is more liked. Peyton’s Sprint commercial where he spends 60 seconds praising himself doesn’t help either. The guy whores himself out more than Shaq. What is next? Peyton Manning in Kazam 2 – Curse of the Redneck Genie?
I could go on and on about my distain for the redneck and fantasize about him choking on a Gatorade whilst paying his Sprint bill with his MasterCard. There is no need for that since Peyton’s biggest enemy is Peyton.
We all know he chokes in the big game. Pats fans and this Dolphins fan couldn’t be any happier that Peyton is finally going to the big show. I can ’t wait to see that big goofy bastard crying during the biggest sporting event of the year. What I really can’t wait to see is Brian Urlacher punishing Manning all day long in Miami.
By the 4th quarter David Caruso will be standing over Peyton’s battered body delivering one of his bad CSI Miami quotes; “I think this guy just got mauled by a bear”. Cue scream and shitty Who tune.
Peyton isn’t the only Colt bitter Pats fans want to see punished. This game couldn’t end any better than the Colts losing by a missed field goal. If Vinatieri went down in flames as the clock ticked to zero and the Bears stormed the field in victory, every sports bar in Boston would go absolutely nuts.
So there is my pick. The Bears over the Colts 21–20. In 3 years of writing Suds I have not been wrong yet, including predicting the Red Sox to win the World Series. So what is the scientific formula I use to make my picks? Beer of course. All of my picks are based on beers. The city with the better beer takes all.
The problem this year is both cities have some pretty impressive beer. In Indianapolis we have big beer brewer Three Floyds brewers of Alpha King Pale Ale, Black Sun Stout, and Rabbid Rabbit Belgian Style Saison. Indianapolis is also home to the king of the cans, Warbird Brewing, who’s T-6 Red Ale is one of the best beers you will every drink out of a can.
In Chi-town we have local darling Goose Island. Goose Island has a very well-rounded portfolio of beers. Goose Island’s 90 IBU Imperial IPA is as unique as Matilda, Goose Island’s Begium style offering that is an enigma of flavors and aromas. Chicago is also the home of Two Brothers Brewing. Two Brothers is the maker of one of my new hoppy favorites Hop Juice.
If an Imperial IPA seems a bit too pedestrian these days, try Two Brothers Incinerator Blond Dopplebock made with Tellicherry black peppercorns. You want a fun halftime game? Try drinking a bottle of this 8+ ABV nectar and then saying Tellicherry black peppercorns 10 times fast. Or, you can try all four of the beers I just mentioned and simply try talking.
So if both cities have great beer, I must make my Superbowl pick based on the fact that Chicago is just a better city. Music? Indiana, The Jackson Family, Chicago – The Blues Brothers Band: advantage Chicago. Michael Jordan vs. Larry Bird, definitely Jordan. Comedian David Letterman is from Indiana, Richard Pryor is from Chicago folks… we can do this all day long.
Suffice it to say if my car broke down in Indiana I would push it to Illinois or just leave it there in the land of the damned. If you left it on the side of the road for an hour and didn’t expect a family of five to be living in it when you got back, you are naive. Remember, Indiana gets Kentucky’s spillover. Is it starting to make sense now that they love Peyton Manning.
So it looks like the marketing machine of the NFL didn’t get their wish, a brother vs. brother Superbowl. On Sunday, give my beer pick a try… I like these two brothers a lot more.
My beer pick for Superbowl XLI:
Two Brother’s Incinerator Dopplebock: The beer pours a copper color with a white head. The aroma is of apples and dark fruit. If this makes sense, the beer smells darker than it is, almost like a barleywine. There is a full mouthfeel that washes malt across the palette. A bit sweet at first blush then balanced nicely by a bit of hops and black peppercorns. The peppercorns give the illusion of a peppery Belgium yeast.
Commercial Description: Incinerator Dopplebock is our take on a classic German lager. It was brewed to 8.2% AVB, 32 IBU’s, and lagered for six weeks. Then we spiced it with world renowned Tellicherry black peppercorns. The peppercorns do not add heat but rather balance the malt sweetness typical of this style of beer and lend a mild fruity character. Available in: 22oz Bottle; half and sixth barrel American sanke kegs.
– Bruce G. Owens, Jr.