Hell’s Kitchen Recap: Can Anyone on This Show Cook a Damn Scallop??

Last night on Hell’s Kitchen, the show opened up with Barbie and Tiffany continuing their fight from last week’s episode, until Gordon Ramsey called them down to the kitchen.

They all got dressed and went downstairs to find 60 people standing there in the Hell’s Kitchen dining room, singing America the Beautiful.  They had all just become US citizens (after all, if you were doing the single most important thing in your life, would you want to do it in front of the Golden Gate Bridge?  In front of the Giant Red Woods at Big Sur? No.  Of course not.  You’d want to do it in Hell’s Kitchen’s main dining room.   And this particular morning it was the chefs? privilege  to make an All American breakfast for them.

The team that got finished service first would win the challenge.

The Red Team got their salads out first and got started on their entrees very quickly.  The Blue Team had some problems with their salads because for some inexplicable reason, Royce thought that Cobb Salads had mushrooms in them.  Clemenza had to come in and save the day.

It didn’t take long for the Red Team to start having their own problems.  The pizza they were sending out to the pass was a raw mess.  And nothing says “welcome to our country” like raw pizza.

Clemenza had the same problem on the Blue Team.  Even after boasting that he was from New York and of course he could make pizza, he still had problems.  Of course, he recovered, but his team took notice.

After several more problems on each side, primarily with undercooked food, the Red Team finally won the challenge.  For winning, their reward was a private jet trip to San Diego on a G4.

The Blue Team, for their punishment, had to spend the day beautifying a natural treasure.  Ie, cutting down trees and cleaning up a park.

For dinner service, Ramsey chose Tiffany and Don as waitstaff.  Interestingly, we found that Don cannot spell “appetizers”, and that really slowed him down. Not that he really seemed to care.  In fact, he found it sort of amusing.

Back in the Red Kitchen, Dana brought spaghetti to the pass that looked like it came out of a Chef Boyardee can.  Her second shot was much better.

In the Blue Kitchen, Clemenza (I just cannot type this guy’s name without hearing the Theme from the Godfather playing in my head) made near perfect lamb chops.

In the Red Kitchen, Brianna could not stop burning her fish while waiting for Kimmy to come up with her New York Strip.  This caused a chicken and egg situation because then, as Kimmy had to wait for Brianna’s fish, her New York Strip had to be re-fired.  It was a hot mess as they blamed each other for their issues.

Back in the Blue Kitchen, Clemenza (da-da-da-da-daa-da-daa-daaaaaa) lost control of his Beef Wellingtons that he was preparing for a group of US Marines, and when he went to make more, he found that he had run out.  This sent Ramsey into a frenzy.  “No more Wellingtons!!!  For the US Marines!!!  The US Marines!!!”  If he keeps this up, he’s going to be sleeping with the fishes.

Ramsey then made Clemenza walk out to the restaurant to the table of Marines and tell them that he had run out of Wellingtons and ask them if New York Strip would be OK.  They clearly were not happy, but it was acceptable.

In the Red Kitchen, Roshni could not fire off the dumplings for a team of firefighters.  They came to the pass “stone cold”.    After a couple of more dishes came up undercooked (are you sensing a theme here?  These people CANNOT FRIGGIN COOK), Ramsey had enough and started tossing women out of the Red Kitchen.  “Get out! Get Out!  Get Out! One more thing, Get out!”

At least this week they managed to get some entrees out.  This is far better than either show last week, where they managed to get the entire kitchen shut down without getting a single entrée out, twice.  That’s called improvement, and really, what more can you ask for.

It came as no shock after this debacle that the Red Team lost.  Their nominees were Barbie, because she kept sending up raw scallops (something that is becoming a theme for this show), and Brianna for screwing up the cod and throwing the whole kitchen off of their timing.

Ramsey also felt that Roshni should be up for elimination.  He felt that she was in way over her head.

Brianna knows that she’s a good cook and can learn from her mistakes.  Barbie knows she screwed up and can do better.

He ultimately sent home Brianna.  She wasn’t getting stronger and he needs someone strong in Hell’s Kitchen.  At this point, I don’t think he’d be wrong no matter who he sent home.  They are about the worst group I’ve seen in several seasons of watching this show.  I’m now watching for comic value, waiting to see who screws up the worst each week.

And of course, to see how many Godfather references I can cram into each column.