Roxxxy The Sex Robot Could Save Derek Jeter Millions

roxxxy-sex-doll-faceA company in New Jersey says it has developed “the world’s first sex robot,” Roxxxy is an $7,000 – $9,000 life-size rubber doll that’s designed for rich men who are unable to make a fist. This latex penis pin cushion was made to engage the owner with conversation rather than lifelike movement.

This unsexy piece of plastic has a voice that sounds like the computer in the 1980’s movie War Games. The dialog coming out of this thing is worse than the worst porn you have ever heard. The doll tells you she is a bond trader from Canter Fitzgerald. Why can’t she be a waitress from The Waffle House? A little Tiger Woods role play wouldn’t hurt.

Just when I though who needs and can afford a $7,000 sex doll it hit me. Derek Jeter could save millions in future divorce settlement money if this company could make him a Minka Kelly doll. Tiger Woods could have used a baker’s dozen of these puppies. He would be up around 55 million right now.

roxxxy-sex-dollThe doll can be purchased with different personalities for Roxxxy, from “Wild Wendy” to “Frigid Farrah,”. True Companion the company behind this doll is in Lincoln Park, N.J. Why don’t they have a personality called “Jersey Shore Skank”? I am sure Snooki from the trash reality show Jersey Shore would model for it and add a new dimension to the doll. The “Jersey Shore Skank” model would be great to take to places like a dance club to bang over a sink in the men’s room.

True Companion has plans to make a male version of the doll. Maybe a Simon Cowell model would be good for the ladies. When they are not pumping on the doll vigorously it could deliver Cowell like quips. “That was absolutely the worst bang I have ever had” the doll could bellow out after an unexpired encounter.

So while this doll gives Jay Leno, Conan Obrien and the other late night hosts great material. Roxxxy has no real value for the common man. If you need to live in a fantasy world with a rubber doll as a companion spend the 9 grand on therapy. As for your sex life, make a fist.