Breaking News: The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 2 Will Be 3D

A trusted source leaked today that the latest installment of the Twilight Saga will be 3D. Our source explained that the 3D treatment of the movie is what is slowing production of the film. This is no surprise to us here at since many production houses are turning to 3D treatments for multiple reasons.

Many films are bootlegged upon release and instantly uploaded to torrent sites. These low-quality versions of the films are typically shot in the theater with a hand held video camera. The 3D treatment of the film makes the image on the screen blurry; the bootlegger is unable to capture the image.

Upon hearing the news of the 3D treatment of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2, we thought this was Summit Entertainment’s intention. Our source then clarified that it will not be traditional 3D. In the case of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2, 3D does not stand for 3 dimensional… It represents Dumber, Ditzy and Deplorable.

It seems Summit Entertainment wants to dumb down The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2. Not only for the mindless audience, but it seems it would also help the IQ-challenged actors as well. Our source told us that stars Kristen Stewart, as Bella Swan, and Robert Pattinson, who plays Edward Cullen, have IQs in the mid-80’s.

Ashley Greene and Taylor Lautner, it seems, can force their IQs into the 70’s if they keep their heads warm. Stephanie Meyers has ordered that all of the “big words” be taken out of the current script in hopes of speeding up production.

In the spirit of the 2nd D super ditz Kristen Stewart is going to try to appear even more mindless. Director Bill Condon said this will be difficult to do without making Kristen look mentally challenged, then again she kind of looks that way now without trying. Condon then commented that Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson would bring their deplorable acting skills to a new level. Thus giving us the third D.

The director went on to say that all of the acting in the film was deplorable but one actor stood out.  Taylor Lautner’s performance so far in this movie makes his performance in The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl look Oscar-worthy.

So remember you got it here first – The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 Will Be 3D…Dumber, Ditzy and Deplorable.